Fire Emblem. They’re the words on every Nintendo fan’s lips at the moment.
Take a quick scan of the internet, and it’s flooded with Fire Emblem musings and commentary. The local water cooler is teeming with gossip of a ‘fire this’ and ‘emblem that’ nature. Dogs and cats around the world, barking and meowing into the void, in what experts can only conclude is discourse focused solely on the franchise.
Obviously, feelings are mixed, with Byleth’s recent reveal as the fifth Smash Bros. DLC fighter garnering something between apathy and indignation from the masses. More quietly, however, there is also cause for celebration, now that we know that there is a mysterious fourth house for us to interact with (and risk our careers by seducing shamelessly).
Since Three Houses has recaptured the public’s attention, it seems an appropriate time to steer the discussion back towards one of the game’s most important and indispensable mechanics: tea parties, or more specifically, who makes for the most suitable companion in such an endeavor.
I know you’re excited. So do me a favor — shut up, sit down in those chairs and drink your goddamn TEA!
If you were to describe Raphael in one word, it would be bursting. Bursting with energy. Bursting from his shirt. Bursting to go to the toilet after all of the tea I’ve been forcing down his throat. Drink up big boy, you’ve got to make sensei proud.
To many, tea parties are the stomping grounds of the noble folk, making this humble son of a merchant family a particularly gargantuan fish out of water. However, it’s his earnest simplicity that makes him such an endearing candidate for teatime.
You won’t be judged for your attire or your choice of tea when you’re hanging out with Raphael. His vacant stare belies the beating heart of an enlightened man, for he realizes that a person ought to be judged only by their ability to lift weights and hit things. Are you good at either of those? If not, he’d be more than willing to teach you the ropes.
Also, I appreciate the fact that his conversations are straightforward and easy to guess. Skip the library chitchat and talk about something heavy. Literally heavy, mind you, not like an upsetting discussion about society’s ills.