Jill Dozer
Everyone keeps saying that Jill should be added into Smash Bros., and I’m inclined to agree.
Throughout Smash history, it’s clear that there has been a distinct lack of girl power on the roster. Off the top of my head, there’s Peach, Samus, the luchador Pikachu and that’s probably it. Don’t you tell me to Google it, dammit, leave that to the fancy college kids.
Jill Dozer first appeared in Brawl as an assist trophy, where she recklessly tore through opponents with a drill, scattering body parts and broken dreams all around the stage. She was absent from Smash 4 for what we can only assume must be contractual reasons — gotta get that cheddar, yo — and has since been demoted to spirit status in Ultimate.
Such slander should go on no longer! Adding her as a playable character would unleash her wide arsenal of offensive techniques upon the world. She can drill, and she can jump, too! Just like my uncle when he’s had one too many glasses of scotch.
