Baldur’s Gate 3 has made a name for itself by giving players the creative freedom to essentially do whatever they want (and whoever they want.) As a result, many fans have found themselves in a bizarre situation in one way or another, leaning towards the game’s crude humor and overly provocative elements. So, if you want to sneak peek into these wild adventures, we’ll show you the weirdest/funniest things you can do in Baldur’s Gate 3.
Before we get into these whimsical interactions, it should be noted that there are minor spoilers for the game regarding specific choices for various side quests.
Romance the Mind Flayer
Out of all the romanceable characters in Baldur’s Gate 3, the Emperor Mind Flayer is probably the oddest and most surprising choice due to its octopus-like appearance. Instead of holding its hand, you’ll be tethered together by its slimy tentacles, permitting you to kiss them when the mood is just right.
Given that you can customize the Emperor Mind Flayer’s outer appearance with your preferred attributes, it isn’t as bizarre as other love interests, particularly with the bear sex scene (tread carefully when searching this one up.) It can get even weirder when Withers takes on the role of cupid and chimes in on your dating life. But, I guess in a world filled with multiple sexcapades and inter-species relationships, a skeleton that helps you with love doesn’t sound too out of place.
Have Deep Conversations With the Animals
If you ever wanted to be Doctor Dolittle, you can see this dream realized in Baldur’s Gate 3 thanks to its unique magical abilities. That means players can have a nice heart-to-heart with almost any creature you can imagine, including squirrels, bears, and birds.
One of the fan-favorite animal-speaking moments is with the glorious cat, His Majesty, who has an incredibly deep voice for an adorable hairless feline. Then, it gets much more hilarious when he greets you with “Hiss! I say: HISS!” Yet, it isn’t always fun and games during these conversations, as they can be highly saddening, especially when Scratch doesn’t understand the demise of his previous owner.
Play the Game Entirely Naked
Avid RPG players have probably seen all kinds of gear, whether it be a knight in shining armor or an impenetrable chain mail. And now, Baldur’s Gate 3 has introduced a new entry to the list with its extremely revealing birthday suit. No longer will you be restrained by the limitations of clothes as you swiftly move around the battlefield, completely exposed.
Proud nudists can play the game entirely naked from start to finish by removing those pesky garments off your Tav via the inventory slots. The rest of the party can join in on the fun, establishing an elite team of bare warriors.
Push Characters Into a Chasm
While there are plenty of weapons and tools to choose from in BG3, a hefty amount of players have chosen to use their bare hands to give several characters a little push. Based on launch statistics, 815,000 users threw an NPC into the chasm on a single day, and it wouldn’t be surprising to see these numbers go up in the future.
What makes this interaction so great is the fact that it can result in an instant K.O. frequently, despite how strong or large the character may be. Therefore, if an NPC looks at you the wrong way or talks back to you, you can show them who’s boss whenever you are near a cliff or even a boiling pool of lava.
Finding the Cabbage Merchant (Avatar: The Last Airbender Easter Egg)
Avatar: The Last Airbender’s Cabbage Merchant saga has continued in Baldur’s Gate 3 with the discovery of this Easter Egg from Reddit user Persies, showcasing a familiar vendor with a grudge against the meddling monks. You may remember that Aang is a monk himself, so it makes sense why this particular class triggers this scenario, where the merchant pleads for help at the sight of his fallen cabbages.
When you progress further in the dialogue, the vendor mentions a previous incident with the “monastic types,” indicating the iconic events that took place in ATLA. As a longtime fan of the show, I’m happy to see the return of this recurring joke, including Legend of Korra’s Cabbage Corp. I just wish I had gone through that class for this entertaining scene to hear him say, “My cabbages!” one last time.
Devouring a Companion
Many players have returned to past saves or early-stage areas to get one Companion they may have missed along the way. On the other side of the coin, some willingly cause the death of these individuals simply because they feel like doing something naughty.
One choice you can make, in particular, can lead to the consumption of the lovely Wizard Gale, allowing you to give in to your dark urges. By the end, all that will be left is his hand, and the rest of the party will be left stunned by your actions. It makes you wonder what other characters you could devour in one bite and the potential pathways it could open for the story.
Smear Poop on Your Face
While at the Goblin Camp, you’ll encounter a roadblock that prevents you from entering the domain. The only way to access this pathway is through a successful ability check or the option to paint your face with a hot, stinky pile of poop. The second selection might not sound too appealing, but it gets the job done and unlocks a hysterical situation where the goblin laughs at you.
Fortunately, players can wash off the war paint with water or a Long Rest. Given how much the character gets coated in blood, sweat, dung, and mud, you’ll probably get used to this activity as you play through the story.
Using a Crab to Take Down an Enemy
The Find Familiar ability can help you in a pinch, bringing a crab out from the sea to become a snappy warrior. Players can cast the critter into the battlefield through this spell to slow down enemies with its menacing claws, including a powerful slashing technique that can cause them to bleed.
The fun doesn’t have to stop with the crabs, considering that the ability features various types, such as a frog, rat, and spider. So, to change up your team dynamic, you can invite these small but mighty creatures to the party for a chance to see a crab take down the realm’s frightening beasts.
Launch a Gnome into the Air With a Windmill
Various players have made the disastrous decision of pulling the wrong switch after encountering a helpless gnome that is trapped on a moving windmill. And I happen to be one of those oblivious users who did not read the simple labels of “Brake” and “Break Release,” causing me to scream out, “Wrong lever!”
Although it is unfortunate for the gnome, it still is quite amusing to watch, and I’m glad I’m not the only one who triggered this event, as it has been documented numerous times in Baldur’s Gate 3 forums. The game also seems to condone these infelicitous moments due to the mischievous achievement, Kill Two Birds with One Gnome.
Fight a Squirrel
It all comes down to this; the showdown between human and beast. Well, maybe a squirrel doesn’t exactly qualify as one, but it surely has enough bite with its sharp teeth. You can come across this critter during the game’s beginning stages, in which you can decide to roll for Dexterity to kick the poor squirrel.
To make matters worse, a successful roll can blast the creature into oblivion, resulting in a complete blood bath. Those who chose the Dark Urge race will trigger another chaotic scenario that won’t allow you to make any decisions since these types will automatically kick the squirrel for no reason whatsoever. Or, you could leave the adorable critter be to begin one of the many deep conversations with an animal.
