Piranha Plant
Not only would you have to lug around Piranha Plant anywhere that you would want to go on a date, but this plant monster will more than likely bite your head off or possibly spit poisonous purple gloop at you while you’re just trying to give it a little goodnight kiss.
Imagine being in a movie theatre watching a romantic film and then all of a sudden, Piranha Plant spits out a metal ball at the projection screen, tearing a gigantic hole in it.
That would just be absolutely embarrassing and then people will stare at you wondering why you brought a damn plant as a date for Valentine’s Day. You can explain all you want but they’ll still think of you as a freak.
If you wanted to take Piranha Plant out on a date, I would recommend taking it out to the dump.
Wario
Oh, where do I begin? The farting, the noises he makes, the motorcycle-riding, the garlic breath, his greedy nature, his best buddy Waluigi; let’s just say that you do not want to bring Wario home to meet your parents, or anyone in your family for that matter.
Wario would probably end up robbing you for everything you’re worth by the end of the date and he’ll more than likely eat your food and fart very loudly while you’re having dinner, even if it’s a quiet/romantic Italian restaurant.
Wario is one of the worst Super Smash Bros. characters when it comes to being a decent human being –or whatever the heck he is.
If he manages to ask you out on a date, just say no.
Wii Fit Trainer
Do you know those annoying people that constantly wear workout clothes to any occasion and judge you on what you eat? Yeah, Wii Fit Trainer is that person.
They’ll be nice enough to pick you up from your house for the date but guess what? They won’t show up in a car –they’ll have running gear on.
“Let’s take a short little 4-mile jog to the restaurant! And then we can bike ride to the movie theatre afterward,” is probably what they would say.
Once you get started on the meal, they’ll judge you for what you’re eating and ask the waiter how many calories are in that appetizer.
And the worst of all, once you eventually make it to the movie theatre to watch some romantic comedy, they’ll make you leave the butter off of the popcorn –so much disrespect.
Bowser Jr.
First of all, Bowser Jr. is a smug little child that probably shouldn’t be going on dates without his father’s approval. Actually, you know what? Bowser would more than likely have to supervise this little play date with Bowser Jr. and that would just be terrible.
These two dinosaur turtle monsters are only known for one thing and that’s making everyone’s life terrible. They love to kidnap princesses, conjure up minions, and destroy castles with bombs and such –those aren’t qualities that you want in a person.
I wouldn’t want to be in a room with these two guys. You would be lucky if they didn’t somehow steal your home or even worse, kill you!
Diddy Kong
He’s a chimp for crying out loud. You want to sit across a howling monkey at dinner while you’re trying to enjoy your steak and potatoes and a glass of wine? You won’t be able to enjoy anything with this boy hopping around the table like some kind of animal.
Diddy Kong would be throwing his poop around the restaurant; he would throw bananas at people’s faces, and just look at him! He’s not wearing pants!
Don’t make the mistake of swiping right on this boy on your dating apps –don’t let that cute face fool you.
Updated: Feb 14, 2020 12:45 pm