Donkey Kong Jr.
Once upon a time, Donkey Kong, Jr. had surpassed his more famous father to become the resident Kong representative in the spin-off titles. It’s unclear why, exactly, but in Super Mario Kart and Mario’s Tennis on the Virtual Boy, this leotard-wearing ape got to play with the big boys. Once Rare had redesigned his pop, however, to the modern look that we all know and love today, DK Jr. went back into the doldrums. His final hurrah, fittingly, was in Mario Tennis on the N64, before being retconned out of Nintendo continuity.
Once proclaimed to be the younger version of the current Donkey Kong, DK Jr.’s true identity is now something of a mystery. Is he his father? Is he Diddy Kong from an alternate universe? Is he a conspiracy planted by the government? Nobody knows for sure, but the one thing that’s certain is that once they introduced Baby Donkey Kong into the lore, everything we had known to be was thrown into chaos. Donkey Kong Jr. is nothing more than a paradox now.
But that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t get another chance at redemption, however. He loves bananas and mathematics, and is therefore an excellent role model for the children. Besides, if they can find a way to make the Koopalings coexist alongside Bowser Jr., then anything is possible. It’s not like this is prose worthy of a Pulitzer Prize – it’s fictional monkeys playing imaginary tennis. Dammit Nintendo, just make it happen. Release Donkey Kong Jr. from the void.
