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Mario Tennis Aces Is Corrupt and We’re Blowing the Lid on the Whole Thing

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Mario Tennis Aces Is Corrupt and We’re Blowing the Lid on the Whole Thing

An ace in the hole.

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At first glance, Mario Tennis Aces may appear to show a treasured tradition that galvanizes denizens across the Mushroom Kingdom. A tournament that emphasizes inclusiveness, to the point of allowing competitors without any hands or feet, and a propensity to bite everyone. A chance for unlikely underdogs to claim glory unforetold – do you remember where you were the day a random Blooper emerged from the Star Cup tournament victorious?

But if you dig a little deeper, the thin veneer of gold gives way to a sinister, rotten core below. It is not all peaches and daisies, and with the latest entry in the series, all of the poor sportsmanship has come to a head. It’s time to expose the corruption on the court, and find out who is really clutching all of those precious gold coins at the end of the day.

You might think that anyone can be a champion. But your opportunity may be in another castle.

It’s Named After One of the Competitors

mario tennis aces, nintendo direct

This has always stuck in my craw, and it’s only getting worse with each new entry. Though Mario claims to be a humble man of simple means, he is still inexplicably able to bankroll an annual tennis tournament, as well as a golf tour, a go-kart empire, and his crown jewel; a license to Picross.

And he has seen fit to stamp his brand all over the place, even having the audacity to label each ball with ‘Mario Tennis Aces.’ Surely it’s no coincidence that each opening cinematic in the series revolves around the long-awaited finals, and Mario is always one of the participants. Does it not seem odd that this diminutive, rotund man is able to outperform opponents twice his size, one of whom is literally a gorilla with a tennis racket?

If all was fair here, why isn’t it called Yoshi Tennis? Or Rosalina Tennis? Or Waluigi Tennis? Nobody would play a game called Waluigi Tennis, obviously, but it’s worth consideration.

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