Complete Guide to Gender, Expression, and Sexuality in The Sims 4

The Sims franchise has always been revolutionary handled sexual orientation. Before LGBTQ rights became a widespread topic, Simmers could live out the queer lives of their dreams in The Sims. The Gender Expression and Sexual Orientation options in The Sims 4 give Simmers even more control over the diversity and expression of their Sims. Here’s everything you need to know.

Gender Expression in The Sims 4 CAS

The Create-A-Sim menu has several options that allow Simmers to make Sims with a wide range of gender expressions. You’ll probably notice right away that there’s no checkbox for gender identity. That’s because gender identity isn’t something that you can see from the outside – it’s something a person (or Sim) feels on the inside. What you see and what you’re able to control in CAS is a Sim’s gender expression.

Physical Frame

Simmers can choose a masculine or feminine frame for their Sims. The feminine frame has an hourglass shape with a full bust and rounded hips, slender hands, and a narrow jaw. The masculine frame, on the other hand, has a broader, flatter chest, narrow hips, and a wide jawline.

It’s worth noting that EA could have used words like “square” or “curvy” to describe the physical frame options without using gendered terms. But being able to choose a body shape as a starting point rather than physical sex massively expands the range of gender expression a Simmer has to choose from, making it possible to build authentic trans, nonbinary, genderfluid, two-spirit, and other gender-nonconforming Sims.

Clothing Preference

The clothing preference selector doesn’t do anything revolutionary to your Sim’s personality. It simply determines which clothing category – masculine or feminine (not both, unfortunately) – you will have to choose from for that Sim by default in CAS.

The default behavior is for the clothing preference to match the physical frame. You can change this on a case-by-case basis in the “tags” section of each outfit category, but the preference selection makes this universal for that particular Sim, saving time when choosing your Sim’s style.

Pronouns

You can find the pronoun selector in the Sim name menu in CAS, which allows you to choose from they/them, she/her, or he/him pronoun options. By default, your Sim’s pronouns will match their physical frame – she/her for feminine and he/him for masculine. In a perfect world, a future update would make they/them pronouns the default for all Sims, but that’s just wishful thinking at this point.

For the grammar snobs out there, it’s worth noting that there are some pronoun-verb agreement issues when using they/them pronouns. The creators apparently programmed notifications to simply swap pronouns out without accounting for irregular verbs, so you’ll run into a lot of moderately irritating “they is” errors, but that will likely be fixed in the future.

In case you find the him/her/they trinity too limiting, CAS has options for custom pronouns, too! This is great for making Sims who use neopronouns like ze/zir, fae/faer, or any of the other literally infinite pronoun possibilities. A bit of grammatical Googling may help you understand the different listed pronoun types, but it’s easy enough to figure out in context.

Sexual Orientation in CAS

Finally, you have the option to predetermine and modify your Sim’s sexual orientation – whether they are attracted to men, women, both, or neither – and whether they are exploring romantically.

Prior to the addition of this selection, Sims were born a blank slate, receptive to advances from people of any gender. Sim sexual orientation was naturally fluid, adapting to Simmer’s play styles over time. That fluidity is still available by turning the “exploring romantically” option to “yes.” Selecting “no” will cause your Sim to reject romantic and sexual interactions from people who are not their preferred gender.

So a Sim with no romantic attraction who is exploring romantically will accept romantic and sexual interactions from anyone, while one with no romantic attraction who isn’t exploring romantically will reject such interactions from everyone. A Sim’s sexual attraction – who they’re interested in WooHoo with – can also be different from their romantic attraction, so a bisexual Sim could be interested in WooHoo with anyone, but only romantic with women.

Before the update that added sexual orientation, Sims were essentially pansexual, receptive to romance and WooHoo from anyone. For the first time in the history of the franchise, the sexual orientation selector gives Simmers the ability to create aromantic, asexual, and – funnily enough – heterosexual Sims.

And that’s everything you need to know about the gender expression and sexual orientation options in The Sims 4. Before you go, be sure to check out our other Sims content, including How to Build a Functional Room Under the Stairs in The Sims 4 and Best Sims 4 Mod Manager: GameTimeDev or Raxdiam?