If you missed the memo, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon DX released on the Switch today.
The premise involves you, the enigmatic protagonist, being transformed into a Pokemon. How did this happen? Why did this happen? That’s for you to work out, primarily by traversing through dungeons and laying waste to the hapless Pidgey and Weedle dwelling within.
To decide which Pokemon you’ve been turned into, the game starts with a short personality test. After answering these questions, it’s determined exactly who you should be (though you can just as easily say ‘Nah screw that’ and demand the one you want).
The available selections are your typical gallery of popular Pokemon, plus some wildcards like Cubone or Machop. And obviously, this kind of transmogrification ain’t so bad… but what if you weren’t so lucky?
Here’s a gathering of 10 Pokemon you would hate to wake up as one morning after a particularly wild bender.
Being cute is of utmost importance in the world of Pokemon. It’s pretty much the easiest way to become popular, and if you’re not pretty enough, Mr. Bonding will refuse to bestow his O-Powers upon you. My goodness, that sentence makes me feel icky.
Your only other hope for garnering fans is by being cool; hence why Charizard is always at the forefront of every new game’s marketing. Who doesn’t love a fire-breathing dragon (besides Venusaur and Blastoise fans, anti-gen 1 crusaders and Stealth Rock)?
But some Pokemon really miss the mark. Diggersby looks like a dirty rabbit construction worker, complete with unkempt facial hair and a perpetual scowl. Its ears operate as a second pair of arms, which is kinda neat, but is that really going to be impressing anyone at parties? Not even Claude from Fire Emblem: Three Houses will be your friend!
Diggersby probably smells terrible, too, like armpits and cheap cigars. Just throwing that out there for you.