Welcome to the eerie month of October, boys and ghouls! It is the season of witches, goblins and diabetes, and the perfect time to look into the more sinister side of our favorite franchises. Pokemon may appear to be saccharine sweet on the surface, but it has the occasional dalliance with the macabre.
Primarily, this is in the form of Pokedex entries intended to give you the creeps, but sometimes, it’s far less subtle. Pour one out for Cubone’s mom, who was straight up murdered by Team Rocket.
But of course, some are more wicked than others, and in this list, we shall endeavor to introduce you to ten of the most horrifying. Hopefully you’re wearing your brown pants today.
Top 10 Creepiest & Scariest Pokemon Around
We start with an obvious one. Drifloon constantly haunts our memories for its gratuitous HP stat and somewhat uninspired design, but its greatest infamy comes from its Pokedex entries.
It is described as “a Pokemon formed by the spirits of people and Pokemon,” and that it “tugs on the hands of children to steal them away”.
Just let that sink in for a moment there. Child abduction is a trepidatious topic for games intended for mature audiences, but in Pokemon, it comes to you in the form of an adorable balloon.
HeartGold and SoulSilver made it even more explicit, stating that “it is whispered that any child who mistakes Drifloon for a balloon and holds on to it could wind up missing.” Not only does this confirm our worst suspicions (the ambiguity of the original entry could have actually meant that it steals them away for a dance, after all), but the phrasing really sticks out.
It is whispered? Whispered?? Who is whispering such dreadful things, and why are they whispering them to me, dammit?
In gen 7, they decided to take things up a notch, detailing that those unfortunate children are dragged away to the afterlife, and that if it were to pop, its soul spills out with a screaming sound. It all sounds like a Stephen King manuscript that didn’t get past the first draft. Or perhaps a really early interpretation of Christine.
Its evolution, Drifblim, was tame by comparison, with its hell-ferrying kidnappings not confirmed until later on, at which point they decided to throw in the fun fact that it is fueled by souls. It’s practically an inflatable Shang Tsung.
Another typical culprit of the freaky files, Shedinja holds a few distinctions that make it truly unique. Not only is its origin unlike any other (it appears in your party when you evolve your Nincada into Ninjask, effectively making it little more than a yucky carapace), but its Wonder Guard ability makes it immune to all but super effective damage.
This would be incredibly useful, had it not been for the fact that it is weak to five different elements, most of which would be present in any team’s arsenal. Oh, and it only has 1 HP. Which means that a strong sneeze would be enough to kill it.
Beyond that, it also has a tendency to snatch souls, the cheeky minx. Legend has it that it will “steal the spirit of anyone peering into its hollow body from the back”, which is particularly troubling when you consider that every time you sent it into battle, you would be putting yourself in terrible danger.
To top it all off, some hackers have managed to generate Shedinja with the Sturdy ability, rendering them into immortal harbingers of doom. They can’t be bargained with, they can’t be reasoned with. They don’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead. Or until you rage quit, at least.
Finally, we get off the predictability wagon by offering a Pokemon you weren’t quite expecting. In this particular evolutionary line, most people would point to Yamask as being the obvious choice for ultimate spookiness. This makes sense, as they “carry a mask that used to be its face when it was human. Sometimes they look at it and cry.”
It’s definitely an unnerving concept, but it’s ultimately more tragic, than anything else. After all, the aforementioned Cubone is famous for brandishing its mother’s skull as a helmet. Comparatively, your own visage bringing you to tears is fairly tame, unless you’re especially hideous to look at.
No, we’re opting for its beefed-up form, Cofagrigus, which is incidentally a really hard name to type, in case you were interested. It appears exactly as you’d expect, as a haunted sarcophagus with lots of touchy-feely arms, but moving in for a better look is bound to end in tears.
They have a tendency to “swallow those who get too close and turn them into mummies,” and have a particular hunger for grave robbers. Getting gobbled up and wrapped tightly with bandages may not sound so bad — might even be a bit of fun if you’re especially kinky.
But let’s talk about what mummification actually is, shall we? It’s a process intended to preserve the flesh of a corpse from rotting, and in ancient Egypt, involved removing one’s brain through their nose, and then harvesting all of their organs and placing them in small jars.
Something to keep in mind if you were keen on displaying a Cofagrigus in your rumpus room.
Glalie might not jump out at you as one of the scariest Pokemon at first, but rest assured, if it were ever to literally jump out at you, you’d best run as fast as your little legs can carry you.
As is often the case, your interpretation of Glalie would vary wildly, depending on which version you opted for. In Ruby, it was proclaimed to have “the ability to freeze moisture in the atmosphere into any shape it desires,” and that seems as if it would be an excellent trick to pull out at parties. Pull out your Glalie (oh gosh that sounds vulgar) and fashion an icicle sculpture in no time!
Alas, those who played Sapphire knew that the only thing Glalie wanted to make was you dead. Awkward sentence structure notwithstanding, check this out: “Glalie has the ability to freely control ice. For example, it can instantly freeze its foe solid. After immobilizing its foe in ice, this Pokemon enjoys eating it in leisurely fashion”.
Yep, Glalie turns you into a living popsicle, then proceeds to devour you. And leisurely, at that. That one word makes the whole thing that much more horrible, really, and worse still, it shares this trait with the electric spider Galvantula, who does so while its prey is paralyzed.
When my psychiatrist next asks me why I’m afraid of the world, I’ll be sure to explain that a great deal of it has to do with the plethora of Pokemon that want to eat me, leisurely.
One of the new kids on the block, Mimikyu is equal parts adorable and terrifying.
We all know the schtick by now: it wears a Pikachu outfit to mask its true form. Landing an attack on it will wreck the costume, turning it into Busted Form, and it actually has its own separate Pokedex entries for this alternative look, with Ultra Sun’s being the most poignant: “It stands in front of a mirror, trying to fix its broken neck as if its life depended on it. It has a hard time getting it right, so it’s crying inside.”
You think about that next time you dare ruin Mimikyu’s cosplay, you cruel being.
Worse than messing up its disguise, however, is trying to sneak a peek underneath at the real Mimikyu, because according to Ultra Moon: “a gust of wind revealed what hides under this Pokemon’s rag to a passing Trainer, who went home and died painfully that very night.”
It’s the Pokemon equivalent to those chain emails that threatened you with doom if you didn’t forward it, and we’d prefer to keep its mysteries unsolved. Also, Mimikyu kinda looks like it has nipples, and that’s scary in its own right.