Splatoon is the newest IP from Nintendo featuring little humans and squids and paint. It’s so full of life and color… However, it seems like Nintendo has, maybe unknowingly, made their dirtiest game as of yet. They had us all fooled, until today.
Today we uncover the truth. The truth that Splatoon is just one big innuendo and Nintendo is totally laughing it up right now. The signs are all there; have you seen the names of the weapons? Let’s see if you can guess which is actually a gun in the game and which one’s a sex term. Let’s play “Is it a Splatoon Weapon or a Kinky Sex Term?”
Splattershot
Weapon!
Jet Squelcher
Weapon!
Sploosh
Sex term!
Truffle Butter
Sex term! For the love of god don’t Google it.
Splash Wall
Weapon… But come on.
Suction Bomb
Weapon! Are you kidding with this, though?
Killer Wail
Weapon!
Daisy Chain
Sex term!
Kraken
Both!
Splatterscope
Maybe both?
Splat Roller
Definitely both.
None of the research done for this article can truly be proven. Look, who can be sure? Let’s just agree that we can all never look at Splatoon the same way again. The bibliography for this post includes Urbandictionary and a deleted search history.
