Ubisoft’s Over the Top Just Dance Demonstrations
Ubisoft likes to keep some of its big E3 announcements under wraps, ensuring they remain a surprise until the trailer finally rolls in the conference hall. Just Dance isn’t one of those games, though. We know it’s coming each and every year, and like clockwork, we get a cringeworthy on-stage demonstration from a dance troop busting shapes to some mash-up of 20 different chart-topping songs.
At first, it was novel and goofy and so we laughed it off as a one-off. But then, it returned. Year after year, the dancers give their best smiles as they flail about on-screen with some luminous neon human silhouettes on the large screen behind them mirroring their every move.
We pray it won’t happen again this year. But we know, deep down, we best start mentally preparing for a choreographed sequence to Freaky Friday, God’s Plan, and probably something by Ariana Grande, too.
Publishers Bring Out Random Celebrities… Because They Can
Celebrity endorsements certainly aren’t anything new. They’ve been going on for just about as long as advertising itself. So, in reality, it should come as no surprise that publishers drag out some of the world’s biggest names at E3. It is a trade show, after all. But, really, they’re there just to talk about how much of a “huge fan” they are of “X game” and that they’re “super excited” to be here today to tell us all about how much they can’t wait for, you guessed it, “X game 2.”
We’re not saying every celebrity cameo is cringeworthy at E3. Javina Gavankar’s presence at EA’s E3 conference last year made sense, with her voicing the lead in Star Wars Battlefront II. But, until he popped up at EA’s 2013 E3 show, I don’t think anyone really knew Drake was such an avid soccer and FIFA fan. The magic of E3, eh?
Multiplayer Demos with Cringey Communication
We feel for those that are tasked with demoing multiplayer games at E3. You can’t just stand there awkwardly in silence, controller in hand, staring at the monitor just in front of the stage as if your life depended on it while you play through the segment of the game. You have to show that this is multiplayer. This game requires military-style communication if you and your friends will complete your mission. Well, that’s for a shooter anyway.
Anything a little less serious turns into a fest of horrendous jokes and puns, and celebrations over the most menial tasks being achieved in-game. Jokes fall flat. Missions are failed. And everyone wonders why publishers think we talk like this online.
A Game Freezes or Glitches
E3. The biggest stage in the video game industry’s calendar. Millions of people have tuned in around the world to watch the big reveals and demos of the next year’s hottest games. After a dramatically delivered overview of the demo we’re about to watch, the lights dim, and the game’s logo flashes up on the screen. The audience shifts to the edge of their seats in anticipation. It’s a loading screen, right? … Right?
Wrong! The game has completely borked it. The RNG gods of E3 have frowned down on the lowly developer this day, as they do their best to laugh off the brief technical hitch while they frantically smash reset buttons off-stage. It flickers back to life, and we eventually get to see what we’ve been waiting for, but the framerate is bouncing around more than a four-year-old in a bouncy castle whose just downed a six-pack of Red Bull.
As much as we hope that every demo, trailer, and various tidbits of the press conferences go down without a hitch, there always, unfortunately, seems to be one. Be it Assassin’s Creed IV, Battlefield 4, or Peter Moore’s tragic pause incident during the Rock Band reveal all those years ago.
Minor Announcements Really Resonate with Some Audience Members
We’re not gonna lie, this might be a cringey part of E3 but it’s the cringey part of E3 that we secretly love. You see, there are times when people collectively lose their minds at an announcement. The Xbox One X’s initial reveal as Project Scorpio in 2016 had fans cheering and celebrating, Beyond Good and Evil 2’s trailer left fans without words and an undying urge to scream YAAAAS, and Final Fantasy VII Remake’s reveal trailer was literally a religious experience for some.
Not every announcement at E3 can be some blockbuster reveal, though, but that doesn’t stop fans from losing their minds at every minor announcement all the same. If there was one fan who perfectly encapsulated the E3 hype simply being too much, it was 2016’s Bethesda girl. We’re still looking for someone who’s quite as excited and hyped about Elder Scrolls Online as she is. And when words aren’t enough, sometimes you just gotta bow down.
Published: Jun 7, 2018 11:17 am