Port Smash 4 to PS Vita
I’m not gonna lie, a port of Smash 4 for PlayStation Vita sounds pretty sweet. Duking it out with fan-favorite Nintendo characters on a portable, qHD, OLED screen with trophy support, party chat, and maybe even an exclusive Sony character, such as Kratos or Sackboy sounds like a great time. However, I realize that I live on the planet Earth where console manufacturers releasing first-party titles on competing hardware is an incredibly rare thing in the modern-day, and there is a zero percent chance that Nintendo would consider porting their mascot fighter to a Sony platform. Maybe the person who made this petition lives on Mars or something.
Be a Better Friend
This petition is incredibly depressing. It is directed at one specific person who has left his friends to play DOTA 2 all by his lonesome. Chris Davis, the victim who has started the petition, explains that “it felt like he killed us with a sword.” To show the sadness that Chris is feeling, he has accompanied the petition with an ASPCA commercial that reflects his emotions. Just know, Chris, that you have the love and support of 24 individuals that signed the petition.
Although, now that I think about it, this petition could just be one big joke. What are the chances that Chris is just a salty LOL or HOTS player?
Don’t Let Grown Ups Play Minecraft
How dare those hard-working, tax-paying, food-providing, and stinky grown ups ruin our precious Minecraft! Do they not know that “Minecraft is a kids game, adults should not be playing this”? But seriously, at least this petition is clear about exactly what it is trying to achieve. The creator hoped that if enough people signed the petition, they could get Mojang to stop “selling Minecraft to 40 year old virgins!” I guess when a kid went to purchase the game, they would have had to undergo a verification test to make sure they weren’t a 40 year old virgin – the first question likely being “Are you Steve Carell?”
Add Sealand to the Steam Country List
The Principality of Sealand is a micronation housed on an offshore platform 12km off the coast of Suffolk, England, with a population that could possibly stretch into the double digits. While it has been claimed to be the world’s smallest country, it hasn’t actually been officially recognized as a country by any sovereign state. Despite this, there is one Sealander who is a fan of video games – specifically the Steam platform – who directed a petition at Valve to add Sealand to the Steam country list. Even if the rest of the world wouldn’t recognize Sealand as an official country, this person was dedicated to having at least someone recognize it. The petition ended up gathering 160 supporters, which completely dwarfs the population of Sealand itself.
Stop Petitioning Xbox Exclusives to Go Multi-Platform
A petition inside a petition. Yep, we’ve reached the point of meta-petitions. It appears that some people were sick of people creating petitions pertaining to Microsoft releasing their Xbox exclusives on PS4 and PC; and everybody knows that the only way to kill a petition is with another petition. Here we have a petition to stop people petitioning for Xbox exclusives to go multi-platform. Did this petition achieve anything useful? Well, Halo: The Master Chief Collection and Sunset Overdrive are still exclusive to Xbox One, so I’m going to say that it was a massive success, despite only attaining 10 supporters.
Rate Madden NFL 15 “M” for Frequent Use of a Racial Slur
If a Madden game was ever to be rated anything higher than “E for Everyone,” I would imagine it would perhaps be for violence or something. But racism, I’m not so sure. In any case, this change.org user felt so strongly that the name of Washington D.C.’s national team, the Washington Redskins, was a racial slur for Native Americans that they just had to start a petition to get the ESRB to rate Madden NFL 15 “M for Mature.”
To be fair, there has been a controversy around the potential racism of the Washington Redskins for a while now, so it’s not an argument that doesn’t have any weight to it. However, it is pretty strong to compare it to the strong language used in 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand and Grand Theft Auto V. Also, you can’t hold EA accountable for the name of a sports team. If this is something that really bothers you, direct your petitions directly to the source – the NFL – not the ESRB or the video game industry.
Have Sega Recognize Eggette as a Canon Character in the Sonic the Hedgehog Universe
You know, Eggette isn’t the weirdest Sonic fan character out of the bunch. This character actually has a pretty cool design, and this is especially shown from the artwork above. However, that’s all it is: a good fan character. Some people thought that this feminine counterpart of Eggman should be officially added into the Sonic universe, so much so that, you guessed it, a petition was started. That’s a little far, don’t you think?
If you’re set on your goal of getting Eggette into the Sonic universe, you can sort of do that with the Sonic Forces character creator. Maybe it’s not exactly getting her into the Sonic canon, but it’s the best you’ll ever get.
Petition to Remove the Petition to Remove Petition Against Cloud in Smash
We’re already starting off with a ridiculous petition to remove Cloud from Smash. It’s not even because the person thinks Cloud is overrated, that he hates third-party characters, or even that he dislikes Final Fantasy; it’s because “we all know that Black Mage deserved the spot way more than Cloud.”
That’s a pretty silly petition, but we can get sillier. How about a petition to remove the petition against Cloud in Smash.? How can we get sillier than that? Well, it’s quite simple really. Make a petition to remove the petition to remove Cloud from Smash. The question now is who’s going to petition to remove the petition to remove…
Get Nintendo to Sell Waluigi to Another Company
Here’s a petition that you can still go ahead and support right now as it was only started a few days ago. When I first saw the title, I figured the person who started the petition wanted Waluigi to head to a company that would treat him better than Nintendo following his exclusion from Smash, but I was sorely mistaken – this person doesn’t like Waluigi one bit. “Waluigi is a shitty character” is how the petition opens. Currently, nine people agree that Waluigi needs to be removed from Nintendo’s possession so that he can stop tainting all of its games.
The petition mentions Xbox, and all I can think of now is how awesome Waluigi would be in Killer Instinct. Hmm, I might start a petition.