Damn, Mike. People hate you.
Really, passionately hate you. So much so that you have transcended from a simple The Division error code into an actual human being for people to despise. Turns out hate can turn you into a real boy, Mike. Because you are the Pinocchio of sucking.
Everyone on the internet curses your name. You’ve taken The Division’s long-awaited release away from thousands of anxious fans. I would feel less sympathy for someone trying to steal Leo’s Oscar. You did this to yourself, Mike.
Don’t try skipping town, either. It’s too late. There’s already a subreddit dedicated to how much you suck. It’s called FUCKMIKE: Mike Also Sucks.
Enjoy your newfound existence while you can, Mike. Your name will be dirt for years to come. In nine months, there will be a severe drop in babies named ‘Mike’. The world will not forget.
P.S. Romeo and Delta suck too.