If first touch scores a goal, everyone drinks.
If everyone misses first touch and the ball actually stays in the exact center of the field as everyone regroups wide-eyed from their failure, drown your group embarrassment with beer.
Every time you care more about your hat than the match, take a drink.
If you got items at the end of the round but deep down, in the depths of your core, you know you don’t deserve them, take a drink.
Take two drinks if you block your teammate’s attempt at a goal. One for you, and one for the dreams you crushed.
If you hardcore goal-steal by racing up to the ball and lightly nudging it after your teammate’s champion shot – nice. Drink an amount that equals your level of weasel-bagging.
Every time you explode into a million pieces, much like your dream to become a Rocket League champion, take a shot.
Take a drink. It’ll probably help your game
If you block an enemy attempt on your goal FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON’T DRINK YOU ARE THE ONLY USEFUL ONE AROUND HERE STAY SOBER.
Every time the ball flies right over your tiny head as you heroically race towards it yelling “I GOT THIS. I FUCKING GOT THIS,” you actually don’t drink. Just sit there and think about your life choices right now.
Drink for anyone who pulls off some David Beckham shit.
Every time you score into your own goal for the fifth time and sink deeper into your self-deprecating pit… take a drink.
If you spent more time upside down than right side up last match, a beer for you.
Every time you try to pull a cool move but end up on the ceiling by accident, just chug. You’re done.