Quick: Think of your best friend for a moment. What is the coolest thing they’ve ever done? Maybe they donated some blood last year? Or ran a half-marathon? Perhaps they own a fondue set in an entirely unironic way that defies belief, but somehow they simply make it work.
Sure, these things may be admirable in their own right (not so much the fondue set), but on occasion; you may find yourself wanting something more. It’s human nature, after all, to desire superior things. Rubbing shoulders with the greats is truly aspirational, and decades of gaming have yielded several characters who you’d like to hang out with, at least just once.
We’ve compiled a quick list of potential candidates for your consideration. There are countless others who just fell short for reasons that become apparent after further rumination. For example, Sonya Blade might be cool to have around, but she’s liable to literally tear you in half with her legs, and that’s no fun at all.
…Unless you’re into that kind of thing. No judgment.
Ezio Auditore
Let’s start with an obvious one. By far the most popular of the many assassins present in the series (though there’s certainly something to be said for Adéwalé), Ezio is beguiling, passionate and cultured. Coming from an affluent background, he appreciates the finer things in life, and would no doubt prove to be most useful when selecting the best bottle of wine, as long as it was from the 1400s or earlier. It’s a niche market, but a market all the same.
Ezio has suffered mightily over the years, watching his family members be executed in front of him, and has faced off against the wicked Templars on more than one occasion. Despite this, he still knows how to put on the old charm when necessary, having enchanted such historical figures like Leonardo Da Vinci.
Leon S. Kennedy
It was a toss-up between Leon and leading lady Jill Valentine for this spot (she is the master of unlocking, after all), but in the end, Leon’s vulnerability and growth throughout the series won out. He’s determined, yet flawed – relatable traits that we like to see in our fictional best friend. We also like to think he’d enjoy playing darts, but that might be a stretch.
From his first appearance in Resident Evil 2 as a rookie police officer in perhaps the worst precinct in North America, Leon was made to be the antithesis to the brash macho stereotype of Chris Redfield. He has logged several impressive achievements under his belt, not only fighting against the threat of the Umbrella Corporation, but also extracting the president’s daughter from rural Spain and occasionally receiving a chainsaw through the chest for his efforts.
Zangief
One look at Zangief and you know that this is a man who likes to party. The Red Cyclone’s exploits are many, from wrestling brown bears in the Siberian wastelands, to dancing with Gorbachev himself upon defeating the wicked M. Bison. It’s safe to assume that that was the canonical ending of Street Fighter 2, primarily because it was the most hilarious one.
Sometimes portrayed as a noble hero of his nation, other times a bumbling villain (“Quick! Change the channel!!”), this Russian behemoth maintains his irresistible charm in any iteration. Moreover, he can carry heavy things for you without breaking a sweat, and he’s probably a great cuddler, to boot. Be warned, however, because the cuddling may be DLC.
As far as drinking partners go, you could hardly ask for better than a 400-pound professional wrestler, but go easy on him if he gets tired; if his SFII date of birth is accurate, the dude is 61 by now. Looking pretty good for that ripe old age, to be perfectly honest.
TJ Combo
He may be boastful and proud, but it’s not without reason; TJ Combo from Killer Instinct is one mean dude who loves to live the good life. A former champion boxer, TJ fell into disgrace after he channeled his inner Jax and loaded up his arms with cybernetic implants. But he’s back on the comeback trail now, and he could use a good pal like you to help him get by in these rough times. Maybe even loan him a couple of bucks here and there – you know he’s good for it.
As a former celebrity with questionable scruples, he’s doubtlessly got all kinds of connections with underworld figures, and that could only prove beneficial to you as his theoretical chum. Plus, he once punched a dinosaur so hard, it died. How’s that for bragging rights? TJ Combo literally killed the dinosaurs.
Chell
If you prefer for your friends to be the ‘strong and silent type’, Chell may be just the girl for you! She makes up for her lack of conversational skills by being incredibly resourceful, and she might even let you test out her portal gun if you ask nicely.
You won’t have any family to compete with for her time, and the only other friend she has in her life is a cube. That being said, she’s particularly fond of that cube, so you may have your work cut out trying to impress her. Rumor has it that she is a sucker for baked goods.
Falco Lombardi
It’s pretty obvious that of the various members of team Star Fox, Falco is easily the one you’d most want to hang out with. Fox seems too straight-laced, Peppy would demand you get home before he misses Passions, and Slippy would probably take photos of you while you sleep.
As for Falco? He could take or leave your friendship, but if you can keep up, he’ll show you a real good time. A former gang member and stereotypical lone wolf, Falco would likely hang out at some really cool places off the grid. You’ll probably be picking up the tab, though – so make sure he doesn’t convince you to grab that expensive bottle of scotch.
Kazooie
If Falco didn’t take your fancy, perhaps this crimson avian is more up your alley? In contrast to her lazy, easygoing pal Banjo, Kazooie is impulsive, rude and excitable. Plus, she’s travel-sized for your convenience!
The odds are high that you’ll likely find yourself in a lot of unfavorable situations as a result of her candor, but Kazooie is able to back up her boldness by proving to be a versatile ally. She can fly, launch eggs as projectiles, and even peck mercilessly at the eyes of her assailants in a way that would make Alfred Hitchcock proud.
Indeed, the biggest issue in trying to chill with Kazooie is likely trying to stop Banjo from being a third wheel. You know, that guy who rocks up at parties uninvited, eats all the food, then falls asleep in your mother’s petunias? Banjo is totally that guy.
Knuckles the Echidna
What’s that? You think that Sonic the Hedgehog would be the one you’d want to hang out with? Obviously, you haven’t been paying attention – haven’t you seen how recklessly he leaves Tails in the lurch? Sonic is prone to zip off without hesitation, abandoning his vulpine friend who frantically attempts to catch up with him. This frequently leads to Tails’ death in some horrible fashion. And that doesn’t really sound like somebody you’d want to befriend.
Knuckles, on the other hand, may be fleet of foot, but prefers to take a more hands-on approach with adventuring, clobbering any walls or foreign objects that get in his way. Obviously, this makes him an ill-suited ally if you’re an environmentalist, but otherwise you’ll have a blast.
Ivy Valentine
Be warned – this friendship will probably get real nasty before long. Ivy Valentine is the very embodiment of the ‘chaotic neutral’, stopping at nothing in her quest to rid herself of the cursed grip of the Soul Edge. As such, she’s probably left more than a few allies in the dust, victims of the business end of her snake sword. Plus, she dresses like a crazy person, and you might not get let into some venues as a result.
But if you put all of that aside, you’ll find a captivating and driven young woman with a fascinating background. The adopted daughter of an earl and countess, her actual father is an evil, dead pirate who is intent on devouring her soul. So obviously, she has a lot of interesting life experiences that she would happily discuss over either a cup of tea.
Should her cruel streak and apparent joy at the suffering of her enemies be a little too extreme for your tastes, please recall that your other options for companionship in the Soul Calibur universe include the tyrannical golem Astaroth, the arrogant vampire Raphael, and Voldo, who defies adjectives entirely. Seriously, Ivy’s pretty tame by comparison.
Manny Calavera
If you’ve turned your nose up at every candidate so far, surely you’ll have a hard time trying to denounce the benefits of hanging out with Manny Calavera. He’s witty, he’s competitive, and he’s gainfully employed! Hanging out with him might actually imply that you died at some point, which is a definite drawback, but beggars can’t be choosers.
If there’s one thing you’ll never be with Manny at your side, it’s idle; his strong-willed temperament will take you to all sorts of heights you only dreamed of reaching. He may be a little jaded at times, and unwilling to succumb to the temptations of corruption (which is a shame, because corruption is often awesome) – just stick with him, he’s a hoot all the same.
