The House Leaders, in Very Specific Circumstances
It was bound to upset people if their beloved house leader was left off this list in favor of their rivals, so I couldn’t lean too far in one direction. Instead, I chose to lean in three directions in quick succession, a phenomenon that must look particularly weird to whoever is sitting next to me at the time.
So all three royals get an invite, however there are strings attached as to when I would appreciate their company. First, Dimitri will only be included pre-time skip. This is the purest form of the Boar Prince, when he is upstanding, self-doubting and sweet-tempered, like a blonde version of Leonardo from the Ninja Turtles.
After the tragic events that follow, he’s a changed man, and he has no time for frivolous activities. His brooding, surly demeanor post-time skip is an unwelcome sight at tea parties and children’s parties alike. He’s liable to go around flinging teapots, popping balloons and beheading the birthday child, and that’s only very rarely acceptable.
Claude, on the other hand, will only be invited post-time skip. His devil-may-care attitude beforehand may seem enticing, but I want to share my tea with a more grounded, mature young man. He needs to have seen the troubles of the world, and to be taken down a peg.
Plus, he’s much hotter post-time skip, and my thirst isn’t limited strictly to tea. Hopefully, he learns to keep his damned elbows off the table though, because that’s rude no matter how attractive you are. You’re leading the Leicester Alliance here, Claude, not the Lackadaisical Alliance.
As for Edelgard, she will only be invited in her endgame appearance, or in other words, when she — heavy spoiler warning — looks like this. You may have your doubts, but that conversation is going to be absolutely fascinating.
But what do you think? Who would you like to invite to share in a gratifying cup of tea? And where do you stand on Byleth’s inclusion in Smash? Are you vexed and outraged? Positive and optimistic? Or do you just want to read a completely unrelated article about boobies?
Here at Twinfinite, we cater to all demands! …Low-key though, that last link is probably going to get the most clicks. We know how you work, internet.
