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Fallout 1st Parody Website Mocks Bethesda in Hilarious Fashion

Fallout 76, Fallout 1st
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Fallout 1st Parody Website Mocks Bethesda in Hilarious Fashion

We’ve seen plenty of live service games recover from a shaky launch, but Bethesda’s Fallout 76 isn’t looking as though it’s going to be one of them. The publisher’s latest initiative, Fallout 1st, is an annual subscription package that has players paying for hotly-requested features that had previously been promised for free, and it’s not gone down well at all.

Now, a disgruntled player has nabbed the Fallout 1st domain name and made their thoughts on the matter very clear with a hilarious parody.

Falloutfirst.com‘s opening paragraph reads:

“Ever since Fallout 76 launched, we have consistently done nothing to improve and evolve the experience based on your shitty feedback. That’s why we’re excited to launch Fallout F*** YOU 1st, a premium ass pounding membership that offers something dumbass players have been asking for since before launch: private worlds for you and select idio- *cough* … friends. 

So we decided to put it behind a paywall! In addition to this huge “feature”, Fallout F*** YOU 1st also includes a host of pointless items and cult bonuses, all of which you can find on my foreskin. And the best part? Fallout F*** YOU 1st is available to screw you right now.”

It then continues to break down exactly what’s included in Fallout 1st and exactly why it’s such a poor value proposition for players.

The fact that Private Worlds is part of the package is, understandably, leaving a particularly sour taste in the mouth of Fallout 76 players. The feature has long been requested and was scheduled to arrive with free Wastelanders update, but that update has now been delayed until next year and Private Worlds along with it… unless you’re willing to pay for Fallout 1st.

As pointed out in IGN’s reaction video, which is included at the bottom of Falloutfirst.com’s page, you have to imagine that Fallout 76’s shrinking player base is now populated only by the most dedicated and passionate pool of players.

That makes this latest initiative from Bethesda all the more distasteful; it almost feels as though the publisher is punishing its most loyal players.

For that reason, Fallout 1st feels like a huge step backward for a game that was almost beginning to feel as though emerging from its awful launch. Wastelanders’ delay was a setback, but Fallout 1st might be the final straw for many.

The website’s closing statement is perhaps telling of a sentiment that many players will surely be feeling:

“As with everything we do for Fallout 76, we will continue to think of our bleeding bottom line first, ignore your feedback and improve the pay to win services over the months and years to come, so please shut the f*** up and just take it!


– Your “friends” at Bethesda”

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