Remember Romance of the Three Kingdoms?
You probably don’t because hardly anyone does. Romance of the Three Kingdoms is another series that Koei seems to have completely disowned as if they never gave birth to it. It gave you China in several scenarios and you got the chance to either roam around as a free officer, join a kingdom as a loyal warrior, or rule the land like you always wanted. Does this sound familiar? That’s because it’s clearly the inspiration for Dynasty Warriors 8 Empires. Except they ditched the Fire Emblem style combat for Dynasty Warriors’. Basically, made it a million times better.
Look at How Batshit Some of the Items Are
Like, are you kidding me, Koei? Game of the year.
That’s a CAT on your HEAD as a HAT! Wait, what if it’s just dead?
Oh. My. God. What even is that? Wait, who cares?! Equip it!
Yes. A thousand times yes.
Whoever named this item sounds like an interior designer.
 You. Can. Have. Babies.
Let’s not even mention the adorableness of having sworn sisters/brothers in the game. Let’s not even overload ourselves right now. You can get married. You can have children. Your kids will look like a combination of your genes with your spouse’s and will have stats that reflect both of your skills. Not only that, but they become instantly a part of your kingdom and can be your heir as a ruler. Having an entire army composed of your sworn siblings, spouse, and children will grant you the Nepotism achievement/trophy.
You’ll Receive a Title Based on Your Play Style at the End
You’re not just doing everything without any repercussions through your playtime in Dynasty Warriors 8 Empires; the game takes notice of your milestones. Have low virtue and you might find yourself with the “Pure Evil” title. Donate enough times and the people will love you so much, they’ll revere you as a saint. The awards for your actions are seemingly endless and as you pile them on, the game matches you with a title suited for you. This adds more replay value than you can imagine as you try to unlock new play styles and see all the awards you can possibly get.
The Dialogue Is Hilarious
Besides the occasional grammar errors, there’s just something so funny about Dynasty Warriors 8 Empires cheesy dialogue. There was a moment where someone actually said, “Let’s keep doing our best together forever.” And then doves flew overhead. Like, can this be any cuter? It’s sickening. Take some antacids before you view the sworn sibling or marriage cut scenes.
A Montage of All You Did Plays When You Finish
It’s a cheap ploy to get you to actually care about everything, and hey, it might actually work. But that’s not why it’s included here, no. During the montage for my character, it showed her becoming the sworn sister of someone as this epic moment in her life. It was clearly poignant. The entire time, I’m thinking, “Oh, it’s going through every important moment so I’ll likely see her marriage or the birth of her son within the montage, too.”
Never. Happened.
Clearly, my character didn’t give a shit about her husband nor her son. Golden.
Published: Mar 1, 2015 06:01 pm