Starfield’s Space Plushies are Giving Me Life & I Need Them IRL, Please

There’s a lot to love about Starfield: the space dogfights, the exploration, the neverending list of quests, the excellent main story… Oh, and also the plushies.

Yes, you read that right. While Bethesda has always been lauded for their impeccable attention to detail, it really does feel like they’ve taken things to a whole other level with Starfield. We all remember The Lusty Argonian Maid from Elder Scrolls, and that was funny and all, but never have I been so enthralled by Starfield’s criminally adorable line of space plushies.

I first encountered these when I arrived at Jemison. I’d picked the Kid Stuff trait at the start of the game, which allowed me to visit my parents in the city, though it also meant having to send them a small amount of Credits each week. Who knew filial piety was still a thing in the space age?

Upon entering my parents’ apartment, they directed me to my old bedroom, which had been left untouched since I left home to work for Argos, and the first thing I saw was my beloved Parsecpooch.

I mean, just look at this thing! It’s a dog in a space helmet!

I never knew I needed a dog plushie with a space helmet so badly until I laid eyes on Parsecpooch. And the name? The name is just *chef’s kiss*. The amalgamation of an astronomical unit with an endearing pet name is just perfection. It’s a pooch that measures distance in parsecs. What more do you need to know?

Out of the corner of my eye, I also spotted another plushie hiding on my shelf. Here’s Plushie Galacticat.

Not quite as cute or as catchy of a name as Parsecpooch, I admit, but the damage was done. Needless to say, the discovery of these two adorable plushies sent me on an admittedly unhinged journey to hunt down and collect every single item in this space plush line.

The results were… disappointing. I’d only managed to find two other plushies over the course of my travels in Starfield, and they weren’t even that cute.

Here’s Xenosnuggle and Cuddleosaur. They’re space aliens and dinosaurs, I guess? I used to be pretty obsessed with dinos as a kid so I was happy to add these to my collection, and I suppose Cuddleosaur’s a pretty decent plushie name.

Actually, on second thought, Xenosnuggle is a pretty funny name too. Like the terrifying Xenomorphs that Ripley’s spent her whole life trying to annihilate in Aliens, but snuggly.

Still, none had managed to elicit that same sense of pure, unbridled joy I got from laying eyes on Parsecpooch for the first time. It was all downhill from there; I just didn’t realize it.

Even so, it was nice finding happiness in the smallest of details in Starfield, a game that’s been marketed to be the biggest, and most expansive RPG Bethesda’s ever put out. Someone make these space plushies a thing in real life please. I’ll pay good Credits for them.