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Linebeck - The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass
Linebeck is the kind of sidekick who only joins Link on his adventure because of the promise of a huge treasure. He's a fairly greedy self-centered character who spends much of the game treating Link with harshness and disdain. At one point he almost abandons the quest because of a lack of treasure, only to have his "loyalties" instantly return because he's promised one wish in return for his continued aid.
Otis - Dead Rising
Dead Rising drops you right into the middle of a shopping mall during a zombie apocalypse. Naturally, there's going to plenty of other shoppers and workers trapped with you. Otis is one of those survivors and ends up communicating with players via a transciever. Now Otis really is just trying to help, but while you spend three days constantly assaulted by zombies and psychopaths, Otis sits up in the comfort of his office incessantly telling you what to do. He's constantly calling you taelling you about trapped survivors, and lecturing you at times if you don't save them. Maybe you could get out there and help a little bit Otis.
Yorda- Ico
Yorda is an interesting character, and the bond she and Ico develop is equally so. She can be frustrating to escort around the game however, as most of the time you have to literally lead her by the hand. Yorda is incapable of fending for herself if she's attacked by the shadow creatures of the game, meaning that it all falls to you. You have to lead her, you have to protect her and you have to do just about everything.
Roman - Grand Theft Auto IV
Roman Bellic is Niko's cousin and the first contact the main character has when he comes to America. Somehow, Roman manages to be one of the most annoying characters in the game. He always wants to hang out and grab a burger or go bowling, and he makes sure to call you all the time about it. Roman has impeccable timing too, calling at the least opportune moments like in the middle of a shootout. There's no one that wasn't tired of hearing, "Niko! It's your cousin."
AI Teammates - Left 4 Dead
Getting a four player game of Left 4 Dead going can be a ton of fun, but if you're going it alone with three AI teammates, not so much. Your teammates are consistently idiotic, getting separated from the group by enemies, snatched up by smokers or just not healing you in time either. The absolute worst is when one of those idiots goes and surprises the Witch when you aren't ready. Thanks a lot.
Navi - The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
This sidekicks really needs no introduction, as Navi the fairy has become infamous for her annoying catchphrase. Everyone that's played Ocarina of Time has the phrase "Hey! Listen!" burned into their minds. There really isn't much Navi does in the game besides tell you over and over and over where to go and what to do.
Barry Wheeler - Alan Wake
Barry Wheeler is Alan Wake's literary agent, and one of his closest friends. He is a good friend to Alan throughout the game, but this doesn't discount how frustrating he is. Barry likes to complain. He complains about coming to Bright Falls in the first place, he has tons of allergies, everything bothers him. The list goes on and on. Although he does come through in the end, there's no shortage of complaining from this sidekick.
Dandelion - The Witcher Series
Dandelion is one big headache for Geralt of Rivia. The womanizing bard is constantly getting himself into trouble forcing The Witcher to come to the aid of his longtime friend. Near the beginning of The Witcher 2, Dandelion and the dwarf Zoltan are even in the middle of being hung at the Gallows when Geralt arrives in the city of Flotsam. Time and again Geralt has to clear room in his schedule to save Dandelion.
Baby Mario - Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island
Baby Mario is basically just along for the ride in Yoshi's Island, in another instance of Yoshi doing all the work. If Yoshi gets hit by an enemy, Mario will float off of his back in a bubble with a countdown timer. The harsh crying and the fact that you have to keep jumping back to save Mario, makes this one frustrating sidekick. Especially since we all know what he's capable of later in his life.
Marines - Halo Series
When you're as powerful as Master Chief, it might be hard for anyone else to measure up. The Marines in the Halo series just don't even come close, though. Without the help of Master Chief the Marines get slaughtered by the Covenant, sometimes even with your help. It's also easy to accidentally shoot a couple of them in the heat of battle, but be careful. If you shoot them one too many times, they'll all turn on you. No wonder Master Chief is such a lone wolf.
Stormtroopers - Star Wars Series
Is this one any surprise? These are the same troopers that have a well known joke about them not being able to hit anything. There are some instances of useful Storm Troopers, but the guys live up to their reputations. Take for example when you play as Darth Vader in The Force Unleashed. Now you don't really need their help, but it'd be nice if they didn't fall off of the platforms on Kashyyyk of their own free will.
Dick Gumshoe - Phoenix Wright
Dick Gumshoe is only a bad sidekick in the sense that most of the time he's not trying to be one. Before every case Phoenix Wright or other defense attorneys have a chance to investigate the crime scenes. The bumbling detective Dick Gumshoe just can't ever keep his mouth shut. He loves to talk to people and is incredibly friendly, but his personality gets the best of him as he's constantly letting crucial pieces of information slip. There are times where he intentionally tries to help Phoenix, but even screws that up most of the time.
Zeke - Infamous
Like many sidekicks, Zeke is Cole MacGrath's most trusted friend. He actually lives up to that expectation in Infamous 2, but Zeke is a bit of a jerk in the first game. He's gruff and money hungry but seems to care about Cole even though he's essentially sponging off of him, until he completely betrays Cole out of no where.
Waluigi - Mario Series
Waluigi is the absolute definition of a sidekick. He was literally created for Wario to have a doubles partner when playing tennis against Mario and Luigi. As such, Waluigi doesn't do much on his own, and you almost never see him without Wario. Waluigi is a tall,lanky, goofy sidekick that seems to just always screw things up. The pair don't exactly create a dynamic duo.
Pawns - Dragon's Dogma
Pawns in Dragon's Dogma are basically lifeless shells of characters that you can recruit and customize. They don't have much personality, but worse than that they have trouble holding their own in battle at times. Dragon's Dogma has you facing down tons of huge creatures and climbing on them, but the pawns never seem to have a full grasp on what they're doing. They constantly get downed by enemies and do questionable things. It's not all their fault though as the system set up for players to customize pawns is a tad confusing.
Every Ally - Dynasty Warriors Series
Let's be honest, Dynasty Warriors is all about you. Charging over battlefields single-handedly mowing down hundreds of enemies is immensely satisfying. It does get a little old, though, when your allies are calling for reinforcements or losing bases every five minutes. Yeah it might create more of a challenge for you, but you'd think with so many powerful warriors on the battlefield someone besides you might be able to take down a powerful enemy general now and again.
Natalya - GoldenEye 007
Remember one of those overly difficult missions in a first-person shooter, where you have to defend a character while they hack a panel or open a gate or something? Yeah, Natalya is basically a bunch of those in GoldenEye 007. She is essential to moving forward, but defending her from gunfire and explosions over and over can get a bit grating.
Dog - Duck Hunt
The dog from Duck Hunt might be the biggest jerk of a sidekick around. First off, the dog doesn't even help you find ducks to shoot down, he just jumps around the grass and randomly pops up. The worst thing though, is how he brazenly mocks you for missing shots. A dog is supposed to be mans best friend, but this one certainly is not that.
Ashley Graham - Resident Evil 4
Ashley Graham's role in Resident Evil 4 is basically that of one long escort mission. There's very few people that like escort missions. Ashley can't really defend herself and is dependent on Leon to give her commands on what to do, or save her from the enemies that attack her seemingly every few minutes.
Slippy - Star Fox Series
There's one word that describes Slippy perfectly: annoying. The high pitched voice, the complaining, and the constant "Help me Fox!" Slippy seems to always be in trouble, whether it's getting tailed by enemies in every battle or being shot down on the planet Titania. As long as Slippy's in an Arwing, he'll need Fox to come to his rescue.
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Published: May 24, 2016 11:55 am