7. Race to the Finish (64, Melee, Ultimate)
It’s sometimes easy to overlook this mini-game, as it has never been afforded autonomy from the Classic game mode. In its initial iterations in Smash Bros 64 and Melee, it was a sprint through a maze to make it to the goal. For Melee, there were multiple routes for you to take and stage hazards dotted throughout, while 64 also had aggressive polygonal thugs who disliked you for merely existing.
It made a return in Ultimate, and it is likely the dullest part of the game. Now, you must collect orbs in a short obstacle course while a void follows behind you, consuming everything in its path like the Nothing from the Never Ending Story. Does that make Bowser a stand-in for Morla?
It’s not that it’s bad, per se, it’s just that once you’ve finished it over 70 times, you begin to grow weary of it, considering instead to let the void suck you in and welcome the sweet embrace of death. Now that, at least, would be something.
