Heike Kagero
You know that Scissor Sisters track Filthy/Gorgeous? That would be an excellent theme song for this guy right here. Well, either that or something like Shizuka na Hibi no Kaidan Wo because, y’know, he’s Japanese and all. And we’re all weeaboos at heart.
The youngest ever competitor in Punch-Out outside of Little Mac himself, Heike is a pompous kabuki who enjoys a good giggle session and maintaining his long, luscious locks. That hair is more than just for show however, as he can also use it as a whip to catch you off-guard. His trademark technique, the mirage dance, sends him flitting about the screen before assaulting you with a sneak attack. Sure, he totally aped it from Great Tiger, but it’s much prettier when it’s being employed by everyone’s favorite bishi.
Sadly, Heike was passed up for other, more familiar competitors in the latest entry on the Wii, like most of his Super Nintendo brethren. Canada’s hairy son Bear Hugger was the only boxer from Super Punch-Out to make the squad, and his debut had actually been years earlier, in the series’ second arcade game. For some reason, the SNES edition gets no love, and that’s just a damn shame.
