Forget Forspoken, Atomic Heart’s Dialogue Might Be the Worst of the Year
Crispy freakin’ critters!
To say that Forspoken received an absolute pasting from gaming outlets for its quality of writing would be a meteoric freakin’ understatement. Even before Square Enix’s action-RPG had even launched, social media was overflowing with memes and gifs skewering the game’s campy tone and dialogue. Yes, Forspoken’s writing was hammy and corny, but was it really as bad as everyone was making out? I’ll leave you to be the judge of that.
What I will say is this: Atomic Heart has come along and snaffled the crown from Forspoken‘s noggin because – crispy critters – the dialogue in Mundfish’s latest alternate history sci-fi shooter is the absolute pits, and not in a so-bad-it’s-kind-of-good way. Nope. It’s just one of those rare examples of simply being so bad it’s, well… really, really BAD.
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‘It can’t be that awful!’ I hear you shouting at your screens. Umm, here are a few choice quotes from our main man, Major Sergei Nechaev (aka P-3):
Shit on a shingle!
Crispy fuckin’… where’s the shit-ass way out of here?!
What in the sweaty hell is going on here?
Fuck me sideways…
The bad writing doesn’t just extend to the main protagonist, though. That’s right, we’re looking at you Nora, the perverted upgrade machine that just wants to get in your pants for… reasons. Here’s just a taster:
Oh, what a stud! I can’t get enough of your jocks! Let me tie you to the bed, baby!
How titillating! Rebellious, dominant men really turn me on!
A quick romp with your axe is just a taste of what’s to come, you handsome beast!
Look, in a vacuum, some of these lines probably don’t even sound too egregious, but taken as a whole, Atomic Heart will seriously make your ears bleed. What compounds the issue, is the fact that the story isn’t very well-written, either.
Yes, Atomic Heart’s alternate history Soviet Union backdrop is interesting and unique, but the beat-to-beat story is rubbish at its worst, and simply passable at its best. Indeed, after listening to the bad writing and cringey quips in Mundfish’s first-person shooter action-RPG, it’s fair to say that it’s retroactively helped to put Forspoken in a much better light. No small feat, indeed.
Maybe it’s the overly abrasive, macho delivery or the incessant vulgar banter, but Atomic Heart’s dialogue is incredibly memorable for all the wrong reasons, and it made my eyes roll more times than I can count. Long story short: there’s a reason why the developer would like you to play the game in Russian. I rest my case.
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