The Metal Gear Solid games are very serious games. It’s a series where we talk about the dangers of nuclear warfare, the plight of soldiers, as well as issues surrounding government censorship. It’s a very smart series of games that likes talking about the ‘deep’ issues, and it’s one of the few series that treats both male and female characters very equally.
The Metal Gear Solid games also enjoy messing with your mind, allowing you to go on super kawaii dates with your men, and take the pants off some of its characters, because why not? We’ve taken the time to narrow down 10 of the craziest ‘WTF’ moments in the series, so here they are.
Do be warned that this article contains spoilers from all the games in the series, including the latest entry, Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. Enjoy.
Meryl Without Pants
There is a part of the game where Colonel Campbell tells you to make contact with Meryl Silverburgh, and that you can look up her Codec frequency on the back of the “CD case”, the CD case being the game box that you should’ve had if you bought the game legit.
As if forcing you to search for information outside of the game wasn’t crazy enough, there’s even a scene where you can catch Meryl with her pants down if you move quickly enough. Literally. Once you’ve located Meryl (by identifying her feminine butt), reveal yourself to her, and she’ll immediately exit the room and head for the female restroom.
If you’re able to follow her quickly enough, you’ll trigger a cutscene in the restroom and it’ll play out as per normal, but poor Meryl will be pants-less. It’s just another prime example of Kojima’s questionable humor, I suppose, having to watch a very serious scene where one character monologues without her pants.
Psycho Mantis Fight
The Psycho Mantis boss fight is one of the most memorable scenes in Metal Gear Solid history. It also happens to be one of the craziest, most mindblowing scenes in the series and in gaming history during that point in time. Before the fight starts, Psycho Mantis will read your past by looking up save files in your PS1 memory card. He’ll even identify games like Castlevania to try to freak you out.
During the boss fight, you’ll find that you won’t be able to hit him with your bullets. If you call the Colonel for help, he’ll inform you that it’s because Mantis is reading your inputs and you’ll have to swap controller ports from 1 to 2. Huh. Who knew mind-reading worked that way?
Akiba in MGS4
Johnny Sasaki, also known as Akiba, is a recurring character in the Metal Gear Solid series. He’s infamous for having terrible stomach troubles, and is always seen trying to relieve his bowels. It’s pretty gross.
Perhaps his most memorable and also most outlandish moment occurs in MGS4: Guns of the Patriots, when Old Snake encounters him for the first time in the game. An enemy guard hears strange sounds coming from an oil barrel, so he lifts it up to find… Akiba with his pants down, trying to sort out his bowel movements. Nice. Akiba and the soldier run away, and Snake decides it’d be a great idea to roll around in that same barrel to avoid enemy detection.
Naked Cartwheeling Raiden
This is perhaps one of the craziest moments I’ve ever experienced in an MGS game. In Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, Raiden finds himself imprisoned by Ocelot and Solidus, and he gets subjected to torture. However, while Snake got to keep his pants on back in MGS1, poor Raiden is forced to get strapped into the revolving bed completely naked.
Even after he finally gets free of the torture device, it’s a long trek for Raiden before he can meet up with Snake and get his gear back. This means that he has to run around the enemy base naked. But it’s not all bad. This is your only chance in the entire series to make Raiden do some awesome naked cartwheels.
I’m not quite sure what the deal is with Kojima and his crotch grabs, but by god, they are funny as hell. The first crotch grab in the series occurs in MGS2 when Raiden meets the president. After breaking into the room where the president was being held hostage, the president immediately rushes up to him and grabs his crotch. I’m not exactly sure why. To confirm his identity, perhaps?
The second crotch grab occurs in MGS3 when Naked Snake, disguised as Major Raikov (who also looks exactly like Raiden) gets caught by Volgin. Volgin is shocked by Raikov’s appearance at first, saying he was supposed to be waiting for him in his room. He then grabs Snake’s crotch, looks back at him in horror, and beats the crap out of him after realizing he isn’t Raikov at all.
I guess crotch-grabbing is a surefire way of confirming someone’s identity in the Metal Gear Solid series.
Date With Kaz
Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker continues the trend of weirdness by letting Big Boss go on dates with Kazuhira Miller. It’s a side op that you can unlock in the game, and you can actually fail it if you do the wrong things. Kaz will appear on the beach shirtless, and you can use your camera to take photos of him, earning heart points. However, if you try to assaults him or beat on him too much, he’ll leave the beach, causing you to fail the mission.
If you play your cards right, you’ll eventually be able to invite him under the cardboard box with you, where you two get to share a moment of love. Score!
Ocelot Kissing Old Snake
Now here’s an Easter egg that you can miss very easily in the series. During the final fist fight with Ocelot in Guns of the Patriots, you can actually get him to give Old Snake a kiss on the cheek.
Once you reach the ‘Snake Eater’ phase of the fight, let Ocelot grab Snake in a chokehold, and then ignore the button prompts that allow you to escape. If you leave them in the chokehold without doing anything for a few seconds, Ocelot will give you a tender peck on the cheek before letting you go and continuing the fight. It’s very romantic, really.
Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain is a very serious game. It’s so serious that this one moment alone caught me completely off-guard. Right before the big showdown with Sahelanthropus near the end of act one, there’s a cutscene where Skull Face loses control of the big mech. He’s in shock, and he doesn’t know what’s going on.
In a fit of despair and confusion, he yells, “Such a lust for revenge! WHOOOOOOOOOOO????!!!!!” And then he proceeds to get dragged out of the scene by his men, who are clearly embarrassed by his dramatic display. Words can’t even begin to describe the silliness of his line delivery. Just watch the clip.
Photoshoots with the B&B Unit
The B&B Corps in MGS4: Guns of the Patriots are a dangerous bunch, but did you know that you can actually get them to pose for you, and sing and dance as well? When you engage them in Beauty mode after they’ve exited their suits, just run away from them for a few minutes and you’ll be automatically transported to a white room. Here, you can take out the camera and point it at them, and the Beauty will start striking model poses.
If you play the J-Pop song on Snake’s iPod, the Beauties will even start singing along and dancing to the song. Huh. This makes complete sense.
I love Quiet as a character, and I really enjoyed how her character played out in The Phantom Pain. However, it’d be folly to try to defend the reasoning behind her lack of clothing. Yes, it’s a plot reason. But no, it’s not a very strong line of reasoning at all. Quiet is forced to wear a bikini, complete with a thong and fishnets because she can only breathe through her skin – putting on clothing would literally suffocate her.
After all the hype about fans being “ashamed of their words and deeds” for thinking badly about Quiet’s design choice, watching this girl flail around in her cell while Ocelot explained her photosynthesis process was probably the silliest, facepalming, ’WTF’ moment I’d ever experienced in the series.