It’s hard moving on. No one will ever fill that space you once held, but maybe we can allow a new space in our heart for someone new. As Joel pushed Ellie further away than he had before, I wanted nothing more than for him to accept her. But it was this scene that made me think that I’m not allowing myself to be happy either.
As the story continues, Joel and Ellie open up to each other, furthering their bond and proving that life goes on. Yes, the loss of loved one is hard, it’s really hard, but it will get better. This is what The Last of Us was teaching me. Everyone says the same thing, but sometimes seeing it in practice is what it takes to truly resonate.
What works more so for this experience was the fact that I was directly in control. In the early hours, every brick throw, gunshot and punch towards a hostile character was a release of frustration. Maybe it was my all my fault she left me, I would think as I merge an enemies head into a wall causing a cloud of blood and the sound of brittle bones popping like bubble wrap.
The action changes as the game moves into its later hours. The violence that unfolds before you is no longer a burst of emotional anger, but now I’m fighting for something, or more importantly, someone – Ellie. But for me, it was fighting for a world where I’ve moved on.
By the end of The Last of Us, the fluctuation of emotions I’d had to process was staggering. I’d watched Joel accept Ellie into his life, accept the loss of his daughter and accept that he’s entitled to love again. This was more than a game to me, it was a learning experience, so now I too can accept that I’m allowed to love again and that it wasn’t my fault.
I implore anyone who is going through a loss of any degree to push themselves through The Last of Us. The game is a grueling and dark experience, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Joel and Ellie helped me in my path to move on and process that what had happened wasn’t my fault.
But most importantly, they helped me realize I could love again.
