PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds is an online shooter developed by Bluehole and PUBG Corp. PUBG has given us many things. A new genre, plenty of good times and a general increase in blood pressure. For better or worse it has also given us the PUBG lobby. This lobby is filled with every character disorder imaginable. Here’s the 10 players you always meet in the PUBG lobby.
Having spent hundreds of hours in PUBG honing their craft, this player likes nothing more than dazzling others with their table-jumping acrobatics. While others fight, shoot and bicker, this player is focused on being the very best table jumper the game has ever seen. Whether or not this very niche skill gives any sort of advantage in-game remains to be seen. Regardless, you’ve got to admire the determination.
This player is who loot crates are made for. Striding forth in their exclusive battle royale yellow trench coat, they flash a look of pity at your dirty grey vest and generic sneakers. Did they earn those clothes? Of course not. What matters most is that they look better than everyone else in the lobby
This player stands silently at the edge of the PUBG lobby waiting patiently for the game to begin. They’ve done this a hundred times, taken countless lives and are silently contemplating exactly how and when they are going to kill you, ambivalent to the shenanigans taking place around them. Often seen wearing a trench-coat and sunglasses, these players should be avoided at all costs.
Despite the fact that they pretty much end up using the same three guns over and over again in PUBG, this player won’t stop until they’ve mastered the crossbow, the heavy machine along with every other weapon on offer. They’ll headshot you from afar, headshot you up close and fill your body with as many arrows as humanly possible before game time. Practising their grenade throws and making a mental note of the exact number of bullets in a standard P1911 pistol, they can almost taste the chicken dinner already.
This PUBG lobby player has no time for fighting, they simply aren’t interested. The ever-present call of the ocean draws them in as they spawn into the lobby and careen past you, heading for the big blue. It’s said that humans came from the sea a long time ago, perhaps accounting for the uncontrollable urge this player feels before every game. They leap from the cliff’s edge, landing submerged in water. ‘I’m finally home’ they whisper into their mic as they float quietly, savouring every second before they are pulled out of the water and into the skies above.
People do weird stuff in real-life so it’s not a huge surprise to see it in a PUBG lobby. Some people choose to trap people in rooms, others choose to spend their time punching you in the butt as many times as possible before the game begins. This person though, this person likes nothing more than entering a lobby wearing as little as possible and parading back and forth before your eyes. I seem to remember reading something about Scottish warriors going into battle naked to intimidate their enemies so maybe it’s all tactical, or maybe there are just a lot of perverts around.
Published: Feb 16, 2018 09:33 am