Galaxy Aces
Whenever I’m feeling low and need a little inspiration, I think of the words my old coach used to say: “My philosophy is if you can’t say something nice about someone, kill them.”
That coach, incidentally, was Ace Bricka, and he was a vision of splendor as he roamed the sidelines, cigar dangling between his lips, randomly declaring that he “loves kicks” with a bug-eyed stare that can only be described as manic.
Mutant League Football on the Sega Genesis was loaded with nasty teams of ghouls and monsters, and among them, the Galaxy Aces were the pinnacle, made up of the best players in the game. Bones Jackson wreaked havoc on the ground, while Snake was able to carve up opponents with deep passes. Wide receiver Kaylor was… well, he was just some random ass dude, but he sure could catch.
Even if their offense didn’t murder you, and I mean that literally, their defense was just as menacing, headlined by MLF (not MILF) legends like Reggie Fright and Lepuke. The Niners had Patrick Mahomes rattled for most of Super Bowl LIV, imagine how he’d react to pressure from an actual orc?
The only way the Aces could be bested would be if they simply ran out of funds before the game finished. Considering the NFL fined for wearing the wrong colored socks exceeds $7,000, you’d have to assume that dismembering your opponent would prove substantially greater.
