Spoink
On the surface, turning into a Spoink may not seem like such a raw deal. It’s pretty loveable, and once it evolves into Grumpig, it grows itself a pair of legs with which to run, to dance, and to grasp at the throat of its oppressors.
However, for the 31 levels before you’ve evolved, you’re condemned to an agonizing life of perpetual motion. If Spoink stops bouncing on its tail, its heart will stop and it will die. How would you sleep? How would you chill out after a hard day’s work? What about using the bathroom, imagine what kind of a terrible mess that would make!
Sure, you might think that you’ll be able to last long enough for that sweet evolution, but that requires a lot of battling — and what happens when you faint? That’s right, you stop bouncing and your ticker is toast.
With such a steep risk, you’d basically always have to have a friend around to either revive you, or use your unconscious body as a makeshift basketball. No privacy, no dignity… such is the plight of the Spoink.
