The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time – King Dodongo
The second boss in this legendary game is incredibly intimidating thanks to his massive size, rows of sharp teeth, and a giant pit of lava in the center of his arena. Yet, despite his terrifying presence, King Dodongo is almost stupidly easy to put down. Sure, the first boss Gohma was dumb enough to show her weak spot, but at least she didn’t literally suck up explosives multiple times in a row like Dodongo did.
All players need to do in order to achieve victory is throw a bomb into his massive mouth every time he inhales (for what feels like 30 seconds) and then whack him a few times with your sword. King Dodongo will then roll around the map’s edges for a little before repeating the entire process again. We’re pretty sure the Gorons could have handled this.
Dark Souls – Pinwheel
Bosses across the Dark Souls series are iconically challenging, but the masked Pinwheel is memorable among the community for being the easiest of them all. Located in The Catacombs, Pinwheel awaits the player in a rectangular room and attacks users with a variety of magical clones.
However, most Dark Souls players never even see these powers, as Pinwheel can be killed in around seven hits — less if your weapon has electrical damage. He offers no real challenge to the player and his attacks do a very moderate amount of damage, giving any Souls player more than enough time to recover. Given his cutscene is sometimes longer than the fight itself, Pinwheel could take a lesson from the Souls community and “Get Gud.”
Yoshi’s Story – Cotton N. Candy
In this colorful Nintendo 64 title, players take control of Yoshi, who is on a quest to stop Baby Bowser from stealing all the happiness away. One of the big bosses that stand in your path is Cotton N. Candy, which as the name suggests is an oversized confection that tries to crush you.
However, given one of Yoshi’s prime weapons is his mouth, all players need to do is lick Cotton N. Candy to death. This fight can, and usually is, over in a matter of seconds as you can kill Cotton N. Candy without him ever getting a chance to really attack. It took us longer to search for a video of this fight than the actual in-game length of the fight itself.
Gears of War 2 – Lambent Brumak
The Lambent Brumak is a fantastic mix of new and old Gears of War enemy designs. However, as a final boss, this one was utterly disappointing thanks to unengaging combat that requires really nothing from the player. In order to vanquish this monstrosity, users need to just hit it with the Hammer of Dawn a few times.
Just in case you forgot, the Hammer of Dawn is a giant laser from space and requires effectively no real aiming from the user.  It’s almost impossible to die during this segment, regardless of what difficulty you play on. The final encounter of Gears of War 2, the Lambent Brumak ended this title on a rather sour note.
Fable II – Lucien
Fable II was a rather underwhelming game thanks to its dull plot, characters, and gameplay mechanics, however it’s the final boss, Lucien, that truly disappoints. Once players reach the concluding chapter, they are thrust into an in-game cutscene where Lucien rambles on about how he can save the world from chaos, only to see his magic sapped and the boss left effectively groveling at your feet.
There is no real fight, yet the entire game has been building up to this moment for 40+ hours. The battle ends with you shooting him in the chest, which kills him instantly and completes Fable II. He doesn’t fight back or even attempt to dodge your shots, effectively making him impossible to miss.
Batman: Arkham Asylum – Killer Croc
There are a lot of cool, dangerous, and unique villains within the Batman mythos, but fighting this Rogues Gallery didn’t always translate well when adapted to video games. Enter Killer Croc, a brute of a villain who is more than a match for our Dark Knight. Yet, his fight in Batman: Arkham Asylum is incredibly underwhelming and devolves into an over-extended game of chicken.
The only way Killer Croc can kill you is if he manages to close a gap and the player somehow misses their Batarang throw, making for an endlessly safe encounter. This fight goes on for upwards of twenty minutes, ending in one final game of chicken where… he just falls down a big hole and you leave.
 Shadow of Mordor – The Black Hand
During their playthrough of Shadow of Mordor, users will run across the terrifying group known as the Black Hand of Sauron. Sadly though, these guys apparently embrace the “all bark, no bite” mentality. The final boss “fights” devolve into an easy stealth section and some underwhelming quick time events. Instead of testing your skills as a warrior or archer, Shadow of Mordor decides to make the very last encounter an impossibly easy interactive cutscene.
Not only does this rob the player of a satisfactory ending or challenge, but comes off as laughable since some of the lowly Uruk generals are way harder to kill. Even if you tack on the boss fight before this one, the game’s final act still doesn’t offer much of a challenge and it mimics (poorly, we might add) the Mr. Freeze fight from Arkham City.
Spider-Man 2 – Mysterio
Mysterio is a supervillain with an interesting mix of powers, as he can force his foes to witness terrifying hallucinations that bend the concept of reality. Apparently Mysterio forgot he could do all of this in Spider-Man 2, where he displays his natural talent for being punched in the face.
When the player meets up with this villain at a local Speedy-Mart, they are tasked with defeating this master of illusions. Yet, all they need to do is literally run up to him and attack once. A single strike will instantly defeat Mysterio, regardless of what he’s doing.
Despite having a massive health bar, this supervillain is so frail that he cannot even sustain a single blow before being knocked out. Spider-Man is more in danger of slipping on a wet floor than anything this guy can dish out.
Halo 3 – 343 Guilty Spark
In theory, this should have been a rather epic boss fight since your confrontation with the enigmatic 343 Guilty Spark has been building since the original title. This is not the case sadly, as 343 Guilty Spark was laughably easy thanks to predictable attack patterns and the fact your weapon has unlimited ammo. To kill Guilty Spark, players just need to hit him with a conveniently placed Spartan Laser a few times until he explodes.
Since the Halo series has already struggled with delivering solid bosses, this fight only showcased how to poorly structure an important conflict. It made Guilty Spark feel like an underwhelming adversary and a footnote in the story rather than an impactful moment.
Resident Evil 5 – El Gigante
Hey, do you remember that awesome fight with the giant monster in Resident Evil 4 that made the player feel small and insignificant? Apparently, Capcom did because El Gigante returns in Resident Evil 5, only this time his boss fight is relegated to a laughable turret section with unlimited ammo. Instead of testing your skill or item management, this fight just asks users to hold down the trigger and shoot the parasite coming out from it a few times.
Boss battles are meant to challenge players, to bring into focus all of their skills and gameplay understanding. This scene fell quite a few steps short of that goal. It’s uninspired and, compared to the far superior version from the previous title, is an absolute joke of a battle.
Published: Dec 28, 2016 04:26 pm