5 Video Games With Stupidly Long Names You Immediately Abbreviated

World Championship Poker 2 – Featuring Howard Lederer

For our first subject, we didn’t opt for necessarily the longest game title ever but one that seemed bizarrely far longer than it really needed to be. What’s wrong with ‘World Championship Poker 2’? Outside of the fact that it probably didn’t cut it for the sponsorship deal for Mr. Lederer, a two-time World Poker Tour winner.

Honestly, I can’t imagine if someone asked me back then what I was playing on my PSP, I’d turn around and give them the full spiel of ‘World Championship Poker 2… Featuring Howard Lederer.’ On top of that, it wasn’t even that great of a poker game, so that makes its ridiculously long name even more silly.

Simpler Shorter Title Suggestion: World Championship Poker 2

Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm 4: Road to Boruto

Of course, when it comes to ridiculously long and complex names, nobody really does it better than the Japanese with their animes and their crazy character names and plots. The Naruto series has graced our screens both in anime and video game form for quite some time now, but none are quite as much of a mouthful as this: ‘Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm 4: Road to Boruto.’

It reaches a point where you have to begin questioning how many of those words are really all that necessary in a title, and whether there’s a small child in the ‘game naming department’ (I know this isn’t a thing before you all come @’ing me) that just wanted to keep adding exciting descriptive words for the anime action game.

Admittedly, I’ve never been a massive anime fan, but we’re pretty sure you could get the same message across with about half the words, let’s give it a try.

Simpler Shorter Title Suggestion: Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm 4 

Dragon Quest Swords: The Masked Queen and the Tower of Mirrors

The Dragon Quest series has been one of the most popular JRPG series around for quite some time now, and with that comes a whole bunch of opportunities for spin-offs, extending the world, trying out new gameplay mechanics and systems, and just giving fans more of the world they love.

Introducing Dragon Quest Swords, an on-rails first-person spin-off that saw players using the Wii Remote as a sword and shield (because motion controls). Honestly, we’re not going to beat around the bush here. Just on that alone, there’s a pretty simple way to chop the title down without ruining it…

Do we need the inclusion of the Masked Queen and Tower of Mirrors? Nope. Does Dragon Quest Swords do an adequate job of explaining it’s a spin-off with a focus on melee combat? Yes.

Ladies and gentleman, we present to you, the sensible alternative.

Simpler Shorter Title Suggestion: Dragon Quest Swords

The Lord of the Rings: Battle for Middle Earth II: Rise of the Witch King

There was a time where every game that released had to have some cool-sounding subtitle to make it just that little bit more badass than its predecessor, and we can only imagine that’s the thought process that was followed back when Battle for Middle Earth II was released in 2006.

Continuing on from its predecessor’s fairly great real-time strategy foundations, BFME II (we’re not typing that out all the time, you can’t make us!) added another three new factions with unique units and heroes.

It also unnecessarily added a whole thing about the Witch King into the title, probably because they could.

Simpler Shorter Title Suggestion: The Lord of the Rings: Battle for Middle Earth II

Summer-Colored High School Adolescent Record – A Summer At School On An Island Where I Contemplate How The First Day After I Transferred, I Ran Into A Childhood Friend And Was Forced To Join The Journalism Club Where While My Days As A Paparazzi Kid With Great Scoops Made Me Rather Popular Among The Girls, But Strangely My Camera Is Full Of Panty Shots, And Where My Candid Romance Is Going

Well now, this is just a bit silly really, isn’t it? It’s worth noting that Summer-Colored High School never made its way out of Japan, and as a result the title shown above is a translation of the Japanese title, but still, it’s fairly impressive that they’ve managed to give you a whole plot synopsis in the title, right?

Is it catchy? Not particularly. Do the people who buy this game really care? Probably not.

Publisher D3 does tend to like to joke around with its games and titles, so chances are they just wanted to see how far they could go before they were told no. It would seem these limits don’t exist. We can’t wait for the sequel now.

Simpler Shorter Title Suggestion: … We Don’t Even Know Where to Start With This One