Mean people will leave me alone
Why I Would Like to Hold Raphael From Fire Emblem
Alas, there comes a time when one must address their own limitations. In my case, it is that my bones are brittle, and my constitution has been weakened by the labors of adulthood (aka I have a drinking problem).
But what if I were to stride gaily into town with this large, muscular man by my side? The tongue-clacking would cease at once for fear that Raphael may snatch that lingua right from their mouth.
In all likelihood, he wouldn’t, being an upstanding gentleman with a heart of gold(en deer). But they needn’t know this — the power of suggestion can often outweigh the much more peaceful truth.
Expounding this further, his voluptuous hands could scour the comments section of my articles, shooing away those who would speak ill of my prose. I’m not yet sure if this means he will literally insert his hands into the HTML itself, but I’m not ruling out the possibility.
And what better way to find out than by putting this into practice right now? Please comment on this article with vigor, that my darling Raphael may pluck any vitriol from the page like a measly flea and cast it aside.
I welcome you with open arms, and of course, open hands.
