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20 Messed Up Pokemon Backstories You Never Noticed

Drowzee, Pokemon, Pokedex

Wait so Kadabra is a what now!?

There are hundreds of Pokemon in Nintendo’s hit handheld game, each with their own lore and personalities that helps them stand out from one another. Most of this information is kept to the Pokedex, which is an item that all trainers might not take the time to properly explore. However, not every bit of information of certain Pokemon is standard, in fact some of the info we are given is just downright weird. After paging through hundreds of Pokedex entries we have found some seriously odd ones that make us question some of our favorite Pokemon’s motives and reasons to exist. Here are 20 of the weirdest entries we could find.

Paras

Paras is an adorable bug Pokemon that is mediocre at best when it comes to actually using it in battle. However, we may decide to take it out more since apparently those mushrooms on its back are parasitic. Sure, it works with the name, but we didn’t expect the fungus to actually be draining the life out of this little one!

Drowzee

Even as a child this Pokemon was always unsettling and creepy. However, after delving into the Pokedex entries for Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire we’ve learned that all of those fears were justified. Drowzee’s apparently sneak into people’s bedrooms, stand next to them while they’re sleeping, and suck out their dreams through their nostrils. Uhhh, thanks Drowzee, but I think we’re fine with a few bad dreams.

Magikarp

The Pokedex literally describes this Pokemon as “Virtually useless” which pretty much says it all. While Magikarp has been a joke since inception, it’s good to see even the in-game lore thinks it’s barely worth any effort. In another entry it remarks about how society doesn’t even understand how this Pokemon survives due to how weak it is!

Snorlax

So we’ve always known that Snorlax likes to eat, but the amount of food it consumes daily is staggering. According to the Pokedex, one Snorlax eats a minimum of 880 pounds of food a day. It doesn’t matter if that food is rotten, diseased, or fresh, Snorlax is apparently unaffected by it.

Porygon

Porygon is literally just programming code from a computer that has become sentient. Think of it as a less angry version of Skynet that the scientist believe can actually fly into space regularly. Also, due to this unique form Porygon he can not only return to cyberspace but is copy protected so no duplicates can be made. It’s literally the only Pokemon with anti-piracy software. Take that Napster!

Cubone

Ready for probably the saddest entry on this entire list? It turns out that the lovable and cute Cubone is actually wearing its mother’s skull over its face. When their mother dies (presumably during childbirth) Cubone’s put the skull of their mom over their face for protection and to hide their faces. Talk about a rough upbringing, yeesh.

Lickitung

So, if you can’t tell just by looking at this Pokemon, the tongue on Lickitung is incredibly long. It’s estimated by scientists to be between 6 and 7 feet which is twice the length of its body. When Lickitung meets others it actually uses its tongue to memorize others by their texture and taste, which is why they literally lick almost anyone or anything they meet.

Dodrio

Besides the obvious three heads, Dodrios actually possess three separate hearts, brains, and three sets of lungs. Each head is said to represent a different emotion such as anger, sadness, and joy and when it evolves one of the heads actually split in two to form a brand new head. Which sounds incredibly painful and explains why the bird always appears to be angry.

Slowpoke

This dimwitted Pokemon is apparently so slow it takes up to 5 seconds for it to even register that it has been attacked and feel pain. In order to eat the Pokemon dips its tail into the water like a fishing rod.  However, due to how dopey Slowpoke is, it will literally forget what it’s doing and lay there all day.

Wheezing

In the Pokemon universe not cleaning your house is a real hazard since Wheezings will infest any unkempt household. Considering they spew toxic gases and feed on garbage, this can make them incredibly dangerous to the populous. Yet, if you take their noxious gases and distill it to the highest form, people can actually produce top-shelf perfume to sell. Scent of Wheezing anyone?

Dragonite

Now for a Pokedex entry that isn’t sad, depressing or just plain horrifying. Dragonite is so fast that it can circle the globe in under 16 hours and spends most of its days rescuing drowning sailors or lost ships during major storms. It’s also wildly believed that Dragonite’s have an intelligence that matches humans and is an incredibly rare sight to behold by anyone out on the ocean.

Jynx

This Pokedex entry can be either considered great or terrifying depending on your abilities to dance. When Jynx walks it rhythmically shakes its hips like it was dancing, which in turn acts as a lure to not only Pokemon but humans as well. Once spotted, people will stop what they’re doing and dance regardless of age, skill, or even capability.

Muk

Okay, back to the utterly gross and disturbing Pokedex entries. Due to Muk’s toxic form, it’s said that a single drop of his sludge can turn and entire pool of water rancid and dangerous. Touching either the sludge or the Pokemon itself can cause poisoning, which is strong enough to kill plants upon contact. Okay, Pokemon, we get it – you want us to clean up after ourselves.

Farfetch’d

That stick Farfetch’d carries around isn’t just for show or to defend itself, apparently this species has a psychological attachment to it. They feel the need to always carry one around and if they’re ever in danger the stalk can be used as an emergency source of food. Also, apparently there are such things as “bad” and “good” sticks, which various Farfetch’d will fight over

Haunter

Unlike Gengar, Haunters aren’t also so carefree and fun to be around. They are considered dangerous Pokemon that will not only try and lure humans off into the unknown but lick them to steal their life away. If you are touched by an Haunter it’s believed that the victim will feel endless shuddering until it lets go. Charming.

Lapras

This gentle giant is a Pokemon that has been hunted to the brink of extinction due to their incredibly passive nature. Lapras are believed to understand human speech and possess an incredible level of intelligence. They can be found singing across the sea searching for the last remaining remanence of their kind.

Tauros

This highly territorial beast is not happy unless it’s rampaging around at all times. They are known to charge each other, trees, and anything else that gets in the way. Tauros is a very dangerous Pokemon if aggravated and should be avoided at all costs.

Golem

Golems are known to be incredibly durable and powerful Pokemon that prefer to roll around to move. Due to this, towns around mountains or rocky regions have actually had to construct ramps and slopes to stop Golems from destroying their homes. According to the Pokedex, Golem is also capable of blowing itself up to launch across gaps.

Psyduck

This is probably one of the most known weird facts, as Psyduck’s suffer from painful, perpetual headaches for the majority of their lives. If the pain is too much, the Pokemon will be able to use mysterious powers in battle. However, once this energy is spent, Psyduck will have no recollection of the event or how it happened.

Kadabra

This is the weirdest, most confusing Pokedex entry from the original 151 roster of Pokemon. The easiest way to explain it is by the entry itself which states: “It happened one morning – a boy with extrasensory powers awoke in bed transformed into Kadabra.” Yes, you read that correctly, a kid turned into a Kadabra. There is no discussion as to exactly how or if this is a common occurrence, but it might make you think twice before throwing out that Pokeball.

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