It’s been a whole week since Animal Crossing: New Horizons blessed Switches across the world, and the hype doesn’t appear to have died down one bit as we fervently work to free our islands from nature’s wicked clutches.
Seven days later, some people’s villages are already resembling metropolitan hubs, with thriving economies and palatial mansions that pierce the clouds above.
Others have been taking a much more measured approach, content with just whittling their hours away at a sluggish pace, spending their bells on literally uprooting Cranston the ostrich’s house from its foundation and placing it in an obscure corner of town simply to confuse him.
When you’re in the latter party, you take much more time to notice things. Minor things. Vapid things. Stranger things.
Perhaps you’d like to know what I’ve noticed? (Perhaps not, but you’ve already gone this far so you’re damn well committed, I say.)
Displaying Furniture Outside Makes Previously Stupid Items Cool
When I first started playing Animal Crossing on the GameCube back in 2004, I drew a very distinct line between what furniture I felt was worthwhile, and what furniture was completely useless.
Bonsai tree? Worthwhile, pop that sucker on the mantle and you’re a trendy yuppie. You’ll be the talk of the town, as people gather from far and wide to catch a gander at your topiary mastery.
Birdbath? Useless, the only birds that ever come into my house are the avian neighbors and it would be awfully rude of them to just swing over my place to take a bath right in front of me.
Froggy chair? Hell yeah, sit your ass right down on that froggy chair, son. Don’t you dare ever leave the froggy chair, protect it with your life.
Toilet? Dammit Chief, that’s the worst present ever, why do you keep giving me these?!
The issue, of course, is that with the limited amount of rooms available, items that were ill-suited to the living space or the boudoir just seemed awkward.
As the games progressed, we were gifted with additional rooms that we could add on (making my toilet gift both functional and welcome), and now, we can at long last display furniture outside without fear of it being stolen by that jerk, Angus.
I’ve enjoyed adding little touches to my front yard as I turn this humble island into a home, and I can at last find a suitable place for the garden gnome Molly gave me as a token of our friendship.
…That place is Nook’s Cranny, obviously, because I need the cash and deep down I’m a horrible person.
