Cars is a fine Pixar series, but the idea of seeing a spikey-haired car roaming around next to a duck and dog car is pretty horrifying. Some worlds work for Sora and company’s transformations; monsters are cool, toys are neat, and Goofy turning into a turtle in Atlantica is downright adorable. None of those things would be true for a Cars world, and it would be more jarring than anything.
Even looking past the aesthetic horror, how would things even work? Would Sora still be able to use his Keyblade, or would he just race Heartless cars? Would you still be able to jump, or just drive? It’s great that Kingdom Hearts III is finally getting Pixar worlds, but let’s stay away from a few of them, yeah?
You probably know Club Penguin best from all the memes that have popped up for years all over social media, and somehow by 2013 the game had over 200 million unique user accounts. Alas, the original Club Penguin was eventually shut down, and replaced by a successor in 2017 known as Club Penguin Island. There’s plenty of kid appeal to Club Penguin, as the game lets you live out wildest dreams of being a………penguin.
Let’s just say not every popular Disney property would be a good fit for Kingdom Hearts, as it’d be hard to see Sora and the other traipsing around with a bunch of penguins decked out in the latest fashion trend. To be fair there could be some interesting meta storyline about Sora jumping into the world of an MMO, but really if Square Enix wanted to do that they could just use Wreck-It Ralph. The Penguins are better left alone on their island, where we can all forget about them.
Home on the Range
Yeah, you probably forgot this one even existed, but how could you considering its marketing had such scintillating lines as “Bust a Moo.” The film focused on a mismatched trio of dairy cows as they tried to capture the cattle rustler named Alameda Slim, in order to get his bounty and save their farm. Clearly, the perfect fit for a Kingdom Hearts story, right?
Home on the Range is an animated movie that has been lost to time. It’s understandable that you might even forget the title considering you could mix it up with Homeward Bound, another Disney flick from the 90s. Admittedly, seeing Sora, Donald, and Goofy turn into farm animals could be fun, but really it’d almost be a travesty to use Home on the Range as one of those precious few Disney worlds.
Mars Needs Moms
Mars Needs Moms has one thing that Kingdom Hearts has never had, parents. Really where have Sora, Riku, and Kairi’s parents been? One line in the first Kingdom Hearts where Sora’s mom says dinner is ready and that’s it, then he left to the island and never came back. Sora’s parents must be worried sick, and how inconsiderate of a son he is to not even give them a call or anything, who cares if the Destiny Islands were destroyed for a little bit.
Anyway, yes, Mars Needs Moms was a 2011 CGI film by Disney, that was met with pretty lukewarm reception right out of the gate. It actually has the worst financial reception for a Disney branded film, only pulling in a paltry 6.8 million on its opening weekend. Needless to say, the ridiculous story of Martians abducting moms to extract their “momness” and put it in nannybots wouldn’t be a good fit for Kingdom Hearts. It’d be fun to jump and glide around the surface of Mars, sure, but this is probably one property Disney itself would prefer is forgotten.
The Mighty Ducks
Emilio Estevez is a great actor, there’s no argument there, but there are certain live-action Disney movies that just wouldn’t be a great fit for Kingdom Hearts. Seeing Jack Sparrow next to Donald Duck was weird enough in Kingdom Hearts II, but seeing Donald Duck play hockey on the Mighty Ducks, that would be downright strange. There’s honestly a good message that could come from a Might Ducks world, something about the power of teamwork and cherishing your friends, you know, that inspiring sports stuff.
Now to be clear, we’re saying the live-action Might Ducks wouldn’t be a good fit. Now the animated Mighty Ducks, that’s an entirely different story. If you never saw the show, it was about anthropomorphic ducks that played on the Mighty Ducks hockey team, but also turned into crazy sci-fi superheroes that fought evil. Oh yeah, and their planet was called Puckworld. Now that’s a perfect Kingdom Hearts world.
I will say, the more I think about Sora having to steal the Declaration of Independence, the more I kind of want a National Treasure world. The strangest part of a National Treasure world would be that it’s set in our own world. The FBI and law enforcement agencies certainly wouldn’t enjoy a kid running around with a giant key destroying things, along with the help of a talking duck.
As fun as seeing Nicholas Cage freakout in Kingdom Hearts would be, we all know this one wouldn’t be a good choice.
The Country Bears was supposed to be a cute musical-themed Disney flick, but boy if those bears aren’t just creepy. While Pirates of the Caribbean was based on a theme park attraction and was a success, Country Bears was a monumental flop, getting met with negative critical reception and only grossing $18 million out of its $35 million budget.
Can you imagine what those bears would look like in Kingdom Hearts III’s engine? It’s enough to make you shudder. Beyond that, there just aren’t any interesting party members that could join up with you, and fun fact you’d have Haley Joel Osment voicing two characters, as he’s the voice of Sora and the main character Beary from Country Bears. Because, he’s already around to voice the character if Square Enix wanted, gives Country Bears world a frighteningly higher possibility of happening than it should have.
High School Musical
It’d definitely be fun to see another musical world return to Kingdom Hearts, like Atlantis in Kingdom Hearts II, but we’re pretty sure no one wants it to be High School Musical. Admittedly, Sora is about the right age, and now thinking about it, his whole quest to save the worlds means he never went to high school. Zac Efron isn’t exactly the actor you’d expect to see pop up in a Kingdom Hearts game, or even do a voice for that matter.
High School Musical is obviously popular, but Sora singing “Get’cha Head in the Game” or “Bop to the Top” probably wouldn’t capture that Disney magic the same way Atlantica did. If we were to get another musical world, might we suggest Beauty and the Beast or The Princess and the Frog.