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Witcher 3: Hearts of Stone Notice Boards Tell Some Hilarious Stories


Witcher 3: Hearts of Stone Notice Boards Tell Some Hilarious Stories

“Looking for a beau…”

In The Witcher 3: Hearts of Stone, one of the first things you’re going to encounter when you start up the expansion is the notice board. Geralt will approach it to get new potential contracts and comment on how silly some of the things people are asking for are. If you’re careless and are just selecting all of them, you could miss cute little tidbits that CD Projekt Red included on these notice boards.

Like a “ROCKING” horse for sale.


“Well, what type of horse are you looking for?” “I don’t know in particular. I guess a rocking one?”

Who would deal with all the noise from the inn downstairs?


Is this Liam Neeson?


Ew, what unspeakable substances?

Maybe Geralt can hire Johnny Musicman for him and Yennefer?



“I hope you’re happy.”


Most important job requirement: be attractive.

Seven Cats Inn_3

This is like that Debra Messing movie.

Seven Cats Inn_2

This doesn’t sound like a good deal…

Seven Cats Inn_1

You’re so indecisive and self-conscious, Jozzy.

Seven Cats Inn

There are a lot of them, and going back to an old notice board even populates new ones to see. What silly notices have you seen on your The Witcher 3: Hearts of Stone adventure? Let us know in the comments below!

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