The Most Hideous Assassin’s Creed Syndicate Cloak, an Open Letter to Evie Frye

Tragic.

Assassin’s Creed Syndicate brings a ton of customization into the action. You’re able to set different outfits, weapons, belts, and cloaks for either of the lovable twins. For Evie, you’re given an array of capes that will flow through the wind as you run around London. They’re stylish and sleek… except when they’re not.

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Meet the Killer’s Lace Cloak

assassin's creed syndicate cloak

This cloak is unlocked fairly early in the game and, if you’re an unfortunate soul, can be a nice upgrade for you at level three. Many of us, however, refuse. We chose to have lesser defense and stealth so as to not sacrifice style.

Evie, why are you doing this? This isn’t a fashion statement. It’s a cry for help. What assassin in their right mind would waltz around town wearing that. Yeah, you’re not supposed to be seen when out on a mission anyway, but does that mean you just stop trying, Evie? Who told you it was a good idea? Who lied to you and let you spend your time embroidering the Assassins’ logo onto it?

It’s a doily. You’re wearing a giant doily, Evie.

It matches maybe one of your outfits. Maybe one. If you squint really hard, change the color to the lightest it can be, yeah, maybe. But otherwise, you’re walking around like a fancy dinner table. It’s almost a veil, Evie, that’s just crazy.

The greatest mystery in the Assassin’s Creed series has nothing to do with assassins, Templars, Abstergo, or the maniacal god-like race. No, it turns out that the greatest question to ask is, “Who allowed this cloak to exist outside of the back of a Goodwill rack?”

project runway eye roll blood orange fucking red

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Yamilia Avendano
Yami was the founder of Twinfinite having written for the site since its inception in 2012 through until she sold it to the GAMURS Network in March 2022. Yami has been playing games since 1991, with a penchant for anything in the simulation and action genres. The Sims 4 has consumed thousands of hours of Yami's life, and she's totally ok with it.