Perhaps you’ve heard of speedrunning, the act of playing through a video game as fast as possible. Speedrunners are masters of optimization, and twice a year they gather at the Games Done Quick marathon to put their skills on display for charity. In fact, SGDQ raised over $1M for Doctors Without Borders just last month.
But did you know you can speedrun life, as well? By utilizing popular speedrun tactics such as clipping, frame saving, and cutscene skipping, you too can become a graceful master of time and speed.
“How?” you’re asking, as you sit there in an unoptimized slump. Simply check out Real Life Done Quick, a new twitter account dedicated to providing round-the-clock life speedrunning tips.
It's faster and more efficient not to hang up pictures around your house. Hanging up a picture wastes a frame.
— Real Life Done Quick (@SpeedRunsLife) August 12, 2015
The Insomia status is RNG and can waste a lot of time. It's recommended you have backup strats to get through the night, such as cleaning.
— Real Life Done Quick (@SpeedRunsLife) August 10, 2015
Lean against a mirror, use a feather on your nose to build the sneeze counter, then sneeze to clip into the other side of the mirror.
— Real Life Done Quick (@SpeedRunsLife) August 8, 2015
Staying up all night before Christmas prevents Santa Claus from spawning, which skips the morning unwrapping cutscene, saving about an hour.
— Real Life Done Quick (@SpeedRunsLife) August 6, 2015
Some runners abandon their religion class to skip otherwise mandatory events. Others keep it for the Pray ability, which influences RNG.
— Real Life Done Quick (@SpeedRunsLife) August 7, 2015
After clearing the jungle gym, Chuck E. Cheese will appear and challenge you to a dance contest. Walking back up the slide will despawn him.
— Real Life Done Quick (@SpeedRunsLife) August 6, 2015
Real Life Done Quick explains how everyday activities like driving, sleeping, and being born can all be improved to cut precious seconds off a run. Beware: these tips are for fun and some of them are definitely illegal.
There’s plenty more to learn at Real Life Done Quick‘s full twitter page, with more expert tricks posted every day. Take a look whenever life’s RNG gets a little overwhelming, or when there just doesn’t seem to be enough frames in a day.
