Connect with us

Diablo Owes Destiny a Huge Thank You


Diablo Owes Destiny a Huge Thank You

For the latter half of August and the first half of September, 8th generation consoles around the world sung with the sounds of dying demons. Diablo 3: Reaper of Souls Ultimate Evil Edition was the go-to game for the most-recent hardware releases. It wasn’t totally perfect but after a drought of major releases even the Sahara Desert would tip its hat to, Diablo 3 was something to do. Every day players would continue their never-ending quest for better gear by beating down upon the minions assembled by the forces of evil. That is until Destiny came along, and the tyrannical Lord of Terror Diablo couldn’t be happier about it.

Finally free from the endless tide of Nephalem after Nephalem slaughtering the armies, he finally has a little spare time to wreck some havoc of his own. For weeks the armies of Diablo were beaten back at every opportunity by countless adventures, keen to plunder the treasure troves his minions held. With so many loot lovers descending upon Destiny though, all of that loot is piling up and – outside of the dedicated few – no-one stands in the way of this tide of evil.

This is all getting a little Toy Story or Wreck-It-Ralph now kids.

Many don’t realise this but when we stop playing a game, the world left behind continues to spin. Think about it for a moment. Think about the pain Soap endured for two years between the day you finished Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and the day you picked up Modern Warfare 3. He laid losing blood while you swanned around playing Madden or whatever else was in the little slot on your system. In Skyrim, dragons continued to scorch the land while you slice up barbarians in Ryse. The same is true in the world of Sanctuary.

Everyone’s favourite spiky ball of red hatred is off sunning himself in the deserts of Caldeum – no doubt getting a little redder – with Belial playing in the pool. Zoltan Kulle and Malthael are forming a screamcore band in the Arreat Crater. Even Cydaea and Queen Araneae are running a sleezy lap-dancing bar in Heaven for crying out loud. They’re off having fun with the world you just saved while you’re running around pumping bullets into round balls of Cabal meat. Spare a thought for the poor people of New Tristram and go kill these horrible bosses who are now doing totally innocent things.

diablo lvoes destiny

However, as you can see from the image above, Diablo isn’t totally thrilled by this. Perhaps he isn’t happy after all. Perhaps this manifestation of pure, untold evil is just a little lonely. If you’re reading this and you have made the move from Diablo 3 to Destiny, spare a thought for your old friend Diablo and give him a big hug. Trade in the Auto-Rifles and Sparrows for a cluster of angry demons and beasties.

If the adventures of Woody and Buzz have taught us anything, its that toys exist to be played with. The same can be said for video game characters. Without people to foil his plans, Diablo serves no purpose. Look at it another way. Without Mario to torment, Bowser is nothing more than the lovechild of a turtle and a sea urchin. With Mario though, he is a malicious reptilian menace who kidnaps Princess Peach on such a regular basis he now has enough loyalty points to buy a shell warmer.

Diablo is nothing more than a red mannequin branded on t-shirts and mousepads around the world unless people are there to fight him. Yes he loves Destiny because it gives him chance to prepare his armies, but that doesn’t mean he never wants to fight again. Think about it next time you look at your games shelf and just one day put Diablo 3: Reaper of Souls Ultimate Evil Edition back into your console. If only to wipe that toothy grind from the Lord of Terror’s warped face.

We can’t promise he’ll be happy to see you but at least he’ll know you care. Might even give you a couple of nice pieces of legendary gear. More than you’ll see dropping in Destiny. ZING.

Continue Reading
More in Uncategorized
To Top