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Dead Rising 3 Review – Death, Dildos, and Disembowelment


Dead Rising 3 Review – Death, Dildos, and Disembowelment

I could have sworn this was going to be the last hour of my life. My stomach was rumbling, my magazine was nearly empty and the horde would not stop their pursuit.  My former coworkers, neighbors, and friends’ arms all reached at me like a 100-limb octopus. The last bullet had arrived, and as I put the gun up to my chin, I saw something in the distance… another human! As I screamed  for help, the man approached me, leaping like a mad bunny.  My savior pulled out what appeared to be a makeshift cannon made from a car exhaust, and let death reign down upon the horde. Death, apparently, comes in the form of dildos… long, purple, rubbery dildos. With all the zombies gone, I noticed the man’s clothes; cashmere sweater, dark aviators, giant afro, daisy duke shorts, and flip flops. The uniform of a hero. Without saying a word, the man threw trash bags around, until discovering a hot dog, ate it in one bite, then immediately ran away. Transfixed on his ass in those tight shorts, I wondered what horrors this man must have seen…

Dead Rising 3 is a third-person action game released exclusively for the Xbox One. It is the third in a series of games which focus on killing zombies with ridiculous weapons. Players control Nick Ramos, a young mechanic with a heart of gold, who is trying to escape the city of Los Perdidos before the military blows it up. As with previous Dead Rising games, Nick will encounter both hostile and friendly survivors, aiding or hindering his progress along the way. Returning yet again are psychopaths, this time based on the 7 Deadly Sins.  To aid Nick in his story, players can collect over 200 items and vehicles to help quell the zombie threat. Using Nick’s mechanical knowledge, players can collect blueprints and combine two items to make an even better item. Slaying zombies with said combo weapons increase Nick’s PP(experience) at a greater rate. PP helps Nick reach higher levels, which in turn unlocks new skill points to distribute among several categories to further increase Nicks abilities.

The story is the typical affair for all Dead Rising games, campy with goofball characters. While I enjoyed the story, it will be totally forgotten in a month. The characters, however, may leave a mark in my brain. Nick is a super friendly guy, with a good sense of what’s right and wrong, even though the world around him is crumbling. He’s a good lead for the game, and much more enjoyable to play then the whiny, aggressive Dick in co-operative mode. Most of the other “good” characters don’t leave much of an impression, but the psychopaths were easily my favorite part in terms of writing and art direction. Some were downright creepy, and provided a serious, almost gruesome tone to juxtapose the goofy, campy Nick & crew.


Graphically, Dead Rising 3 is what you expect from an Xbox 360 game…. yes, I know,  it is an Xbox One game. It’s very obvious that DR3 was supposed to be a “last-gen” game with its textures, but was pushed to the One to help fill its library for release. While there are some fancy lighting effects, and a lot of zombies on screen at once, it is no better looking than current games out on less powerful consoles.  What DR3 may lack in graphic fidelity, it makes up for in performance and fluidity. Every action in DR3 is faster and more satisfying than in previous games in the series; slicing and dicing zombies has never felt better. While head, limbs, explosions, and bodies are filling the screen, the games frame rate keeps up with the action, for the most part.

The gameplay is what kept me in the game for 25+ hours. I often found myself daydreaming while slaughtering zombies; it’s almost therapeutic. An open world combined with collectibles and side quests kept me plenty busy throughout my time with the game. The problem with Dead Rising games though, especially with this one, is that once you have found the good combo weapons, and have decently leveled up your character, the challenge vanishes. A maxed out melee-focused character can one-hit pretty much all types of zombies. Boss fights then become stale when all you have to do is hit a character over and over until a cutscene triggers.  Previous Dead Rising games help deter this by having a strict time limit and limited saves in single-player.

Unfortunately, this is not the case in 3’s single player. The time limit is not even an issue. I had more than enough time to find all collectibles and complete a majority of challenges with room to spare. While there is a nightmare mode, which is more akin to the older games, a majority of players will probably do the standard story mode. This is a rather small gripe though, seeing as how the issue only arrived about 20 hours into the game. Overall, Dead Rising 3‘s gameplay is fast, fun, and has just enough “carrots on a stick” to keep you coming back without being overwhelming (*cough*AC3*cough*).


Knife+Fireworks+Umbrella+Dragon Mask = This?

As a “completionist”, Dead Rising 3 gave me a fun 25 hours. My Nick went from a weak young adult to a kung fu master, punching zombies and ripping skulls. If you are looking for a game to sink your teeth into and to keep your brand new Xbox One warm, I can’t recommend Dead Rising 3 enough. If you are looking for an epic time sink, the likes of Skyrim or Grand Theft Auto, you might want to stay away. The story wont keep you gripped, and the gameplay will grow stale after your 30,000th zombie killed. I did not mention this earlier, but the game does have co-op, characters stats and collectibles carry over from game to game, but not mission progress. If you have a friend who is willing to shell out the money, you will have even more fun. 

[Final Breakdown]

[+Gameplay that “feels” good] [+Funny Characters] [+Well Integrated Co-op] [- Boring Boss Fights] [-Stiff Driving Controls] [-Navigation can be a chore]


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