(…Forgive the header, but I was told I could be as vulgar as I want with this post, so I’m goin’ for the gold here.)
I’m sure everybody has had a bad customer service experience at some point in their lives. But, have you ever been completely insulted and then flaunted to by a ridiculous jackass that thought ‘customer service’ amounted to ‘you can shut up and deal with it’? That’s what happened to a poor Penny Arcade reader by the name of Dave recently. Dave, who was nothing more than a customer asking about the status on some items he ordered from Ocean Marketing (creators of the Avenger, which is pretty much a hideous squidlike abomination that just so happens to be a controller), was met with a wave of absolute fucktardedry at the hands of some prick by the name of Paul Christoforo, a PR guy with a brain as sharp as a bowling ball and an ego as tall as the Empire State Building. Highlights include…
“You placed a pre order just like any software title the gets a date moved due to the tweaks and bugs not being worked out and GameStop or any other place holds your cash and im sure you don’t complain to activision or epic games so put on your big boy hat and wait it out like everyone else.“
“ Feel free to cancel we need the units were back ordered 11,000 units so your 2 will be gone fast. Maybe I’ll put them on eBay for 150.00 myself.”
“You just got told bitch … welcome to the real internet check kotaku in 2 weeks when they are reviewing free PS3 Avengers we send them as well as G4 and all the other majors hell yeah , don’t forget to check Amazon, gamestop.com, play n trade , Myers , Frys and a ton of other local stores coming your way you think you speak for billions son your just a kid you speak for yourself no one cares what you think that’s why were growing and moving 20-50 thousand controllers a month.”
Now, horrible grammar aside, does anybody see the problem here? Yes…this is real. And this is THE COMPLETELY FUCKING WRONG WAY TO DO CUSTOMER SERVICE. When a consumer raises legitimate concerns, you don’t tell them to “Put his big boy hat on”, you give them a solid answer and let them know what’s going on. When a consumer gets upset at the fact that you acted like a fucking child towards them and replies to your email in a frustrated manner, you don’t call them a bitch and begin to flaunt your false sense of superiority like some god damned celebrity. You apologize, and do you fucking JOB, which is, you know, to help your customers before you lose your customers.
Anyways, I could go on and on and on about this piece of shit, but I’m gonna cut it short. If you wanna read the full email chain between these guys (Grammar Nazis beware, you will facepalm so many times you’re likely to injure yourself), you can click here. As for my opinion? This guy better lose his job. I’m a well documented hater of idiocy, and anybody that apparently takes pride in being a harbinger of absolute bullshit and douchebaggery deserves any punishment forced upon him.
And also, if any of you guys dare disagree with me, I totally, like, know the president of Antarctica so don’t mess with me because I’ll launch a smear campaign against you!