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15 Jobs Gaming Characters Would Do if the Whole Hero Thing Didn’t Work Out

Link doing a 9 to 5?

It is hard to imagine any of the most iconic video game characters doing anything other than starring in our favorite video games. This list is going to do just that and take a look at some of the most iconic video game characters and put them in alternative careers that would be a good fit for them. Keep in mind that characters who already have a profession besides saving the world do not apply. Sorry Mario fans, suggesting Mario becoming a full-time plumber will not be on this list.

Pac Man-Competitive Eater

 

This one is obvious since Pac Man can eat all he wants without stopping. Pac Man can eat anything from fruits to household objects like keys and bells, all without taking a breath. His ability to consume so much mass, makes him an easy contender to become a competitive eater. Kirby was also a contender for this spot, but since Pac Man can consume the souls of the deceased. I think Pac Man has this spot taken.

 

Marcus Fenix- Tomato Farmer

 

This one is based mostly on the Dom’s Toms Easter Egg from Gears of War 4. In Act 2 of the game, you can unlock a dialog where Marcus goes on a rant about how hard he worked on growing his tomatoes from Dom’s seeds. If Marcus ever stops being a soldier and wants to choose a different career for himself. He would make a great tomato farmer. That way, he can spend the rest of his days perfecting his sauce from his tomatoes.

 

Alyx Vance-Apple Genus

 

Alyx Vance, the lovable hacker from the Half-Life series would make for a great Apple Genus. She has the computer skills and friendly nature that would land her a spot at any genius bar. Alyx’s kind and helpful nature can surely defuse any tense situation a customer would have over their Macbook. Plus, she has a lot of experience dealing with smart guys who have a hard time putting their thoughts into words.

 

Red-Student

 

Red is the protagonist from the first Pokemon games. At eleven years old, Red is one of youngest video game protagonists out there. He starts his Pokemon journey at Pallet Town and eventually defeats the Elite Four. I imagine that there is not a lot of schooling required to be a Pokemon master. If Red was not the hero of Pokemon Red and Blue, then he should go back to school. He simply cannot function as an adult with only a sixth grade education level.

 

Mr. Resetti-Life Coach

 

Players probably have horrid flashbacks of the long and passionate lectures that Mr. Resetti gives after you forget to save. Mr. Resetti has become a staple in the Animal Crossing series and if he ever wanted to stop harassing Animal Crossing players, he can surely make it a life coach. Mr. Resetti is so passionate in making sure that you remember to save, he will show up at your house to demand that you break your habits. If anyone were to have Mr. Resetti as a life coach, they would probably make positive changes in their lives just to avoid his unskippable reminders.

 

Minecraft Steve-Construction Worker

 

Minecraft Steve is the protagonist of the Minecraft series and one of the most famous builders in gaming. If Steve was not fighting the Ender Dragon, he would make an excellent construction worker. Steve can create huge structures and vast building only using the tools and materials he finds his environment. If he can make amazing structures using only wood and handmade tools, imagine how much he can make with a construction team and machines that a modern day construction company can provide.

 

Goat (From Goat Simulator) – Demolition Crew

 

And what Minecraft Steve can build, the goat from Goat Simulator can destroy. Goat Simulator is not a game to be taken too seriously since it is about a goat who causes chaos that defy the laws of physics. The only thing that is serious about the goat is his ability to cause destruction. Even the goat’s tongue can be used to hold onto tools that can assist in the demolition process. Let’s be honest, this goat would not do well in a petting zoo or a farm. This goat needs to leave a path of destruction in it’s wake.

 

Nathan Drake-History Professor

 

Nathan Drake is one of our favorite wise-cracking adventures with an almost encyclopedic knowledge of historical facts. A lot of his information in his mind and notebook should be shared with fellow students of history. He has the charisma and expertise to make a typical history class one that students will actually be excited to attend. Plus, he would probably be one of those professors who wears jeans with his blazer.

 

Faith Connors-Stunt Performer

 

Faith from Mirror’s Edge has lived as a former runaway and later as Runner transporting items to groups who fight the oppressive government. She has parkour skills and physical strength to traverse herself a variety of different ways throughout her city. Her skill set would make her a perfect candidate to be a stunt performer as she performs dangerous feats without the safety net that a movie studio will provide. Despite the safely precautions, stunt performers still have a very dangerous job, but it can’t be as dangerous as being a Runner.

 

Link-Lawn and Hedge Trimmer

 

The Legend of Zelda protagonist, Link has saved many kingdoms in his day and has vanquished evil across many lands. If Link was not the Hero of Time, he could make his grass cutting and hedge trimming a full-time gig rather than just a hobby. This would be a great job for Link since he would get paid for the job and would be able to keep any rupees he would find in the grass. He would probably get paid way more than he does now. How much does the average Hero of Hyrule get paid anyway?

 

Dante-Pizza Shop Owner

 

Dante, everyone’s favorite supernatural bounty hunter from Devil May Cry is most famous for his skills in fighting, his sarcastic quips and also his love of pizza. Dante makes no secret for his love of pizza and is seen eating it frequently throughout the game. If Dante were to do anything other than hunting demons, he would probably turn his love of pizza into a full-time gig. Although, you would probably have a hard time ordering olives at his restaurant.

 

Dogmeat-Police Dog

 

Dogmeat has become a staple to the Fallout series and is a friendly companion with a lot to offer. He is great at following commands and has the right temperament to make a great police dog. His sense of smell can help him find objects for his owner and since we know that Dogmeat is good in a fight, he can even help to protect his handler. If Dogmeat ever wanted to be something other than a companion in a nuclear Fallout, he would make a great police dog.

 

Lee Everett-Youth Councilor

 

Lee Everett from Telltale’s The Walking Dead is mostly known for his role in Clementine’s life. Lee found Clementine alone without anyone to care for her and he took it upon himself to take her in. Not only did he protect Clementine, he made sure that she would have the right skills and mindset to survive the world that they were thrown in. Lee made a great mentor to Clementine and could help other youths the same way that he did for her.

 

Zarya-Personal Trainer

 

Zarya is the one of the best tank heroes from Overwatch. Zarya was once an athlete and is one of strongest women in the world. You can tell this from her body, as she has the arms to prove it. Her speciality is weightlifting and body building, but surely she could get anyone motivated enough to reach their fitness goals. If Zarya was not a soldier fighting against the conflicts facing her country, she could help people everyone achieve the the body of their dreams.

Claptrap-Backup Dancer

Lastly on this list is Claptrap. Claptrap is one of those characters who you either love him or hate him. Regardless on how you feel about him, you have to admit that Claptrap has some moves. He is not good enough to be a lead dancer on his own, but would make for a great backup dancer. If you question Claptrap’s dancing skills, remember that he was good enough to be a playable character in the dancing game, Dance Central.

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