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Ubisoft Declares Assassin's Creed Unity to be 1000000p (Satire)

In response to criticism from video game fans regarding the news that its upcoming Assassin’s Creed Unity is locked in at the 900p frame resolution as opposed to the current console standard of 1080p, Ubisoft has taken a bold step and declared that it will be upgraded to previously unheard of heights.

“Everybody is complaining about 900p, 1080p…this is pointless. It’s pointless because Assassin’s Creed Unity is going to be…ONE MILLIONp!” said an unnamed Ubisoft executive. When asked how Ubisoft could back up such a claim, he replied, “Well look, there are a lot of ways you can define something like screen resolution. Do you know how small a pixel is? They’re really, really small. There must be a million of them on a 40-inch screen, right?”


It is unclear at this time whether declaring such a screen resolution for Assassin’s Creed Unity would stand up to both consumer or industry scrutiny, particularly with this news coming so shortly after controversy over Sony being sued for advertising Killzone: Shadow Fall as 1080p when, strictly speaking, it wasn’t. The source didn’t believe it would be an issue, asking “What judge is going to be able to see the difference between Pac-Man and Call of Duty, much less a few pixels.” He then laughed and added, “Besides, this is an industry that once had something called ‘Blast Processing’. Believe me, I think we’re good.”

In related news, Sony and Microsoft have reportedly begun a bidding war over the patents for ‘GAZILLIONp’, ‘INFINITYp’, and ‘GOOGOLp’.

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