I hate covering E3. I know, I’m not supposed to complain… but I will anyway. The glitz, the glamor, the swag, it’s all a gigantic lie. And you know that I don’t lie to you, so I’m here to break the misconceptions that seem to surround being a “gaming journalist” at E3.
We should be allowed to complain.
When E3 was impending and I knew I had to cover it with just one other Twinfiknight in LA, I turned to Twitter and let the world know just how little I was looking forward to that. Every single damn time, I’d get at least one person (never someone that’s actually covered E3) telling me to quit complaining. No. No. No, no, no. No.
It’s not all fun.
When I look back on E3, I remember it fondly as a life experience. Or at least I hope I will, as the time of this writing I am still waiting for my flight out of LA. But last year it worked that way. During E3, I wanted to quit Twinfinite. I wanted to go on our web hosting account, shut it down, run away, and never look back. Maybe shave my head and join a monk monestary. It’s that crushing. It’s shave-your-head-and-have-a-meltdown crushing.
I’d lay at night staring at the ceiling thinking about how exhausted I am and how little fun I actually get to have as the boss of a site working a convention. I got to play one game this year. One. If you say people are in this for anything other than passion for the game, you haven’t actually covered a convention. You haven’t seen what I’ve seen.
The exhaustion is palpable.
Everyone looks like ass.
Your eyes have become raccoonish, your skin is a pale shell, and you’ve probably developed a distinct limp. That’s what tends to happen when you’re working for 10+ hours a day on 3- hours of sleep. Not to mention when diets consist of “whatever is fastest.”
You don’t get to see shit.
What the hell is Dying Light?
You literally get to see shit.
Why did Konami focus so much attention on their mobile games?
You don’t usually get to be around the famous people in the industry.
I saw Felicia Day once and did a creepy double-take that she totally noticed. This was as I was rushing to an appointment so I couldn’t stop and fangirl like an idiot. Who you’re mostly around is your team, and hopefully your personal friends within the industry. That is to say if there’s even time for that…
There is absolutely no time.
No, I will not be able to meet you anywhere. No, it will not help us to exchange numbers because I literally do not have time to even eat. I mean, there is actually a box reserved on the Twinfinite schedule document that says: “Remember to eat.” If you’re working E3, you’re jumping around covering games. Twinfinite had two people there, we were going from appointment to appointment with no rest in between. Maybe once we’re not understaffed, maybe. But I see friends at larger sites having the same amount of trouble.
You want to grab lunch? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Booth babes/bros are plentiful.
I had this dumb idea for a feature that involved me taking ugly selfies with booth babes. I managed to find maybe four. Four doth an article not make. So basically, thanks to there being almost no booth babes or bros, I look like a huge creep with four random selfies of half naked women on my SD card.
So much swag.
I got a journal, some pins, one shirt, and a lanyard. Big pimpin’, amirite?
Does this all not mean a thing to you?
Oh, that’s fine. Watch my E3 video diary above to get an idea of exactly how it went. Note, however, that before E3 I had great plans for the diary. It was going to be hourly. It was going to cover everything. Did it, though? Did it? You’ll see how exhausted I was that I only remembered/had time for two minute’s worth of footage.