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[Featurama] The Best Video Game Weapon Ever

So as of today (1/14/2012) Syphon Filter 1, 2 and 3 are available for free to Playstation+ members. I had completely forgotten about this series of games. I remember playing the demo for the original Syphon Filter game and enjoying it as a kid. I think I rented it maybe three or four times, and distinctly remember using a Gameshark to have all of the guns unlocked at the beginning of the game. I decided to download the game today to see if it has held up at all. What I discovered is that the Gameshark code to unlock all weapons was a complete waste of time.


[Sadly…]

The game has not held up well. Controlling Logan, the game’s protagonist, is a nightmare. The controls are incredibly sluggish and navigating tight turns in small hallways is just out of the question. You just run back and forth into the walls, like some sort of crazy Pong game. I don’t remember them being that rough, but with that said it’s still playable. Fortunately, the game has R1 set to automatically lock on to the nearest enemy threat. Without this feature, the game would be impossible to play. as the first-person view is really stiff and hard to aim with.

Like I mentioned before, I remember using a Gameshark cheating device to unlock all of the guns in the first stage and provide unlimited ammo. While it seemed unnecessary to have a sniper rifle when you can lock-on targets, it was still fun to try and get headshots. You could wipe out waves of baddies with the grenade launcher. With that being said, the guns were the least interesting weapons in the game. The best weapon in Syphon Filter, and perhaps all of gaming, was one of the weapons you start the game with. It can kill guys shooting at you from rooftops with ease. It naturally has unlimited ammunition without cheat codes. It is quite possibly the most overpowered weapon of all time.

So what is this ridiculously awesome tool for bad-guy butt whipping? Behold!

It’s NOT a blunt, I swear.

The Taser. Yes, I am serious.

[Okay, so where do I begin?]

This is not your average taser. You do not want to be caught in this things path. Which is going to be hard to avoid, because as I said before, you can snipe people with this. The thing has incredible reach. I can reach enemies on rooftops down the street more effectively than with a sniper rifle.

It has ridiculous range, unlimited ammo, but what kind of damage can it do?

Honestly, I have no idea why the developers even bothered putting guns in the game after they came up with this concept. None of the guns in the game can even begin to bring the level of pain that this little puppy can. Sure, you could shoot someone in the chest a few times with silenced pistol, or go all Ash Williams on people with your boomstick.

[Alternatively you could taze them to the point their bodies literally burst into flames]

It only takes a matter of seconds to go from a stunned enemy, to a smoked enemy. While you are tazing them, any friendly agents in the area are free to open fire on your target, allowing for some real teamwork. Not that you really need teamwork in this game; Logan equipped with the tazer is a one-man army. The only downside to the tazer is that it cannot harm enemies wearing flak jackets. However if you go into the manual aiming mode, a headshot will connect and you can take out armored enemies. It does take a little longer for the flak jacketed enemies to fry, so they are probably the only situations where you might want to switch to a shotgun or assault rifle.

All things considered this weapon is straight-up unfair and I love it. Whenever I see “Top ___ Weapons in Gaming” lists, I am always disappointed that Logan’s tazer isn’t up there with the Portal Gun or Cloud’s Buster Sword. This thing SHOULD be included in top 10 lists and loved just as much.

If you have PS+ there is no reason not to download this immediately. This weapon is worth the download alone.

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